


Breathe you in, give me life

by Gomibukuro



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Anxiety, Covid is a thing, Crushes, First Meetings, Gaming, I Don't Even Know, Isolation does things to a person, Late Night Conversations, Listen I have no beta we die like men, Love Confessions, M/M, Slow Build, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:53:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 26,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29364306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gomibukuro/pseuds/Gomibukuro
Summary: Corpse shows up unannounced on Sykkuno’s doorstep one night in a rainstorm desperately needing something and Sykkuno is trying to figure out what it is while trying to not get distracted by his own crush on the streamer.It had to be important for Corpse to drive all the way out to Vegas at 3 in the morning, right?
Relationships: Corpse Husband & Sykkuno (Video Blogging RPF), Corpse Husband/Sykkuno (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 149
Kudos: 647





	1. Baby, you should pick up the phone

2:54am

 _Incoming call:_ **CORPSE**

Sykkuno nearly dropped his phone with a yelp as he knocked down his empty glass, breaking the silence in his room while the rain slapped against his window. He had just finished streaming and honestly the last thing he had expected to see was Corpse’s contact buzzing on his screen. 

What the heck? Why was Corpse calling him?

Contrary to popular belief, Corpse and Sykkuno’s exchanges outside of livestreams and discord groups are few and far between, much to Sykkuno’s own disappointment at times. 

Sykkuno for one rarely uses his phone and Corpse rarely has any time. In fact, Corpse barely speaks to anyone outside of his work. Not to say he prefers his own company (far from it), it’s just what he’s been acclimated to over years of isolation. 

Which is exactly why it’s coming as such a shock to Sykkuno that this notification has popped up on his screen. 

_Maybe I’m hallucinating, I did just stream for 8 hours on barely any sleep…_

_Did I miss a discord message? A text? A dm??_

_What time is it? Oh yikes, it’s nearly 3am!_

_  
_ _Oh no, is he okay? Did something happen and the parametrics are dialing anyone in his contacts? “Sykkuno” doesn’t come first alphabetically but maybe they recognize my streamer name?_

_No no..._

_Do people just jump straight to calling these days?_

Sykkuno got so buried in his own overthinking that he almost let the call go to voicemail. He gasped on the 5th ring and jabbed his finger into the touchscreen to hit **accept** , scambing to pick it up before Corpse got cut off by his answering machine. He heard his knuckle actually crack with the force of it and had to bite back his gasp of pain. 

He put the phone to his ear and hesitantly let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

He could hear rain beating down on the other end of the line and heavy breathing. 

It sent a spark of something down his spine. 

There were another few moments of silence and Sykkuno was confused why Corpse wasn’t saying anything. Then it came.

“Sy...kkuno?” Corpse sounded weighed down, hesitant. “I'm sorry, did I wake you? Are you there?”

Sykkuno yelped again.  
  


“Oh jesus! I was so nervous about picking up I didn’t even realize I forgot to say hello! Hello, Corpse. Is everything okay?”

He couldn’t hear much over the static rain but Sykkuno hoped the weak noise coming through the speaker was Corpse’s quiet chuckle. If it was, it trailed off pretty quickly and was replaced by his labored breathing again.

“Corpse, are you okay? You sound…” Sykkuno bit his lip. _He sounds like he’s in so much pain. Has he been crying?_

“Corpse?” Sykkuno tried again. 

Still silence. 

“Is everything okay? It’s late and I need to know that you’re alright Corpse.” Sykkuno says as if he’s the one who called Corpse. 

This time he was sure of it, the sound of a shaky breath. Corpse has been crying. Sykkuno’s heart breaks in his chest and energy swells through him. Lack of sleep forgotten as the sobering reality sets in. 

Corpse is not okay. He’s reached out to Sykkuno for support. _Be still my beating heart, Corpse needs us now._

“Corpse.” 

Corpse is taken aback by how soft Sykkuno says his name. There isn’t a morsel of pity, only love and concern. Like he’s laying his heart bare. 

“What do you need? Tell me.”

On the other end of the line, Corpse bites his lip. His emotions were still masked by the downpour around him. 

“I want- I need...” Hesitantly, the words began to form and soon they came tumbling out. “I need to see you.”

Sykkuno’s breath catches in his throat. Any amount of streamer’s fatigue evatorates. Does he mean…?

He could still hear the hesitation in Corpse’s voice. Sykkuno mentally slaps himself in the face, choking down his crush that’s threatening to flutter out of his chest. He springs into action, actually jumping to his feet. 

“Anything, Corpse. Do you need me to come over? It might take me a little while from Vegas but if you can hold out, I can stay on call with you and-” The hoodie he’s wearing is ironically from Corpse’s store. He pulled it on after his stream was over and it was plenty warm enough. Sykkuno was already grabbing his keys and an umbrella before Corpse’s voice sputtered out,

“No no no Sy that’s not- I’m actually.” Sykkyno hears a muffled groan as he makes his way to his front door, pulling on his mask and tugging his rainboots out of an unpacked box labeled **_Fourier_ ** in sharpie. Corpse must have cupped his face into one of his hands to produce that sound. He seemed… Ashamed? Embarrassed? Nervous? Too much background noise to tell for sure. Sykkuno grunts with the effort of pulling on his boots, he can fix them in the car after he sprints through the Vegas rain. 

“Sykkuno, I’m so sorry. Please please please don’t think I’m weird but-”

He interrupts him mid sentence, not allowing him to complete that thought. “Corpse, I would never think you’re weird. And even then, it could never be a bad thing if it’s you. Don’t worry. It’s raining here too so I’m gonna make a run for the car and I’ll send you an eta on google maps ok?”

Sykkuno’s readiness startled both of them so he takes advantage of Corpse’s stunned silence to brace himself for the cold sprint to the car. Counting down in his head, he flings open the door to be met with- 

Corpse. 

Standing right in front of him. 

Sykkuno is taken aback. He’s never actually seen what Corpse looks like before but this is without a doubt him and _god_ he actually looks so good it hurts. 

If not for the sudden burst of energy pumping through his system with the specific motivation to help Corpse and the fact that he looked like a waterlogged wreck, Sykkuno might have processed and reacted to this information differently.

But here was Corpse now. Drenched and soaked through to the bone, phone up to his ear and a stunned look in his eyes. The rest of his expression was obscured by his mask but Sykkuno could only guess it mirrored his own, slack jawed and shocked still. Corpse’s arm falls limp by his side, phone clattering to the pavement as he looks down at Sykkuno with his messy hair and partially laced up boots wearing Corpse’s merch and an N-95 mask tucked beneath his shin. 

“I’m already here.” Corpse finishes before Sykkyno has the chance to fully process what’s happening. It’s almost drowned out by the wind howling and flinging water. “Um, your address. You sent it when you moved and I-” he was cut off by the distant rumble of thunder, “I had it from your sweatshirt order too since we never got around to that hand delivery…”

The rain continued to pour down and there was a flash of light which illuminated Sykkuno’s driveway. In an instant, he sees a second car pulled in and parked alongside his own, further confirmation that Corpse really just drove across the fucking desert in a rainstorm to see him and Sykkuno was really about to do the same thing. 

Sykkuno’s heart was beating out of his chest, his adrenal glands were working overtime to serve his nerves a huge cocktail of mixed emotions ranging from urgency and concern to panic and swooning. 

Corpse’s breathing started to speed up slightly as he searched Sykkyno’s face for any indication that this was ok behavior. The panic slowly built and Sykkuno snapped his jaw shut, realizing he was stock still and Corpse was starting to think he had done something wrong. _Ok, dial it back now. This is not the time for personal crushes._

“Oh jesus, how long have you been standing out here-”

“I’m so sorry I showed up with no warning but you sent your new address to the chat and I-” He was repeating himself. “You said whenever we needed anything-” 

“It’s okay, it’s okay. Come on let’s get you inside, I don’t want you freezing on my doorstep-”

“I just didn’t know what to do so I got in my car to drive and clear my head-”

“Are your joints ok? Do you need to stretch? I can make you some warm tea-”

“And before I knew it all I could think of was you and I was driving to Vegas-”

“I’ll get you a change of clothes and run you a bath, Bimbus leave him alone for now-”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me-”

“We need to take care of you-”

“I had to see you-”

“can’t concentrate knowing-”

“-that you’re out there-”

“-without me-”

“I-”

Their words tumbled over each other in tandem as Sykkuno practically had to drag Corpse inside with no regard to boundaries. The door slammed behind them and Bimbus yelped in surprise. Sykkuno barely registered it, he was simply focused on getting Corpse someplace warm and safe. 

Still a one track mind. 

He felt Corpse shudder against him as Sykkuno wrapped himself around Corpse’s arm and pressed his body against his, using his own solid weight to emphasize tugging him inside. He was real, this was all very real. It wasn't some fever dream after he passed out on the floor, this was actually happening.

Sykkuno broke eye contact and knelt down to remove both their shoes, shifting his grip down Corpse’s leg and not noticing him flushing scarlet beneath the mask and looking away. 

He tapped his knee reassuringly. 

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you.” he breathed, hoping Corpse would get the message and lift his foot up enough for Sykkuno to slip off his boot. 

First right, then left.

They reestablished eye contact as Sykkuno reached up to grip Corpse’s forearm and pulled himself back up into an upright position and kicking off his own. 

Corpse still hadn’t said anything else. He looked a little shell shocked being handled by the normally reluctant Sykkuno. 

“Is this ok?” Sykkuno asked, gently squeezing his hand. 

Corpse averted his eyes and nodded shyly in response. Sykkuno’s heart skipped a beat.

_Wow, that was cute. Was that supposed to be cute? That was really cute..._

“Ok. Kitchen is this way, it’s tile.”

Leading him into the kitchen, still not letting go of Corpse’s arm as he trailed behind, Sykkuno tutted at Bimbus who was sitting in their path, head cocked to the side. 

“It’s ok, Bimb! This is a friend. It’s Corpse!”

If Bimbus understood, there was no telling and Corpse’s haggard expression gave away nothing as to how he felt about the pet. If anything there was a lack of emotion, he looked as hollow as he probably felt. 

His first proper meeting with Bimbus could wait until later.

“Wait in here, I’ll bring you some towels. I’m still kinda unpacking but make yourself at home. Don’t worry about water damage, these chairs can take it!” As if to emphasize his point, Sykkuno slapped the back of the dining room chair with his free hand as he pulled it out for Corpse, hoping it would make him smile a little. Sykkuno’s line of sight lowered as he gently guided Corpse back into the chair, shuffling their feet together. Hands sliding from his arm to his chest and firmly pressing down. Grounding himself in the reality of CORPSE in his HOME. 

It still felt unreal.

Friends don’t usually touch each other this much for this long, right? Sykkuno flushed and moved to pull his grip away, stuttering a quiet apology for lingering but the second he pulled back Corpse’s eyes suddenly flashed with desperation as he lurched forward and _clung_ to Sykkuno’s retracting hand. 

**_Oh._**

Sykkuno nearly jumped out of his skin at Corpse’s sudden shift from motionless to mortified. 

“Please don’t.” He choked out, “Please stay with me. Don’t let go.” The last one sounded like a command. 

Tears were welling in the corners of his eyes, it was the most expressive he’s been since arriving. Sykkuno felt nails digging into the backs of his hands a little as Corpse’s grip tightened. 

He smoothed his fingers over Corpse’s knuckles and smiled in a way he hoped was reassuring until Corpse loosened his grip, looking embarrassed.

“I'm don't want to leave you but let me go grab you some towels and a change of clothes, I promise I’ll be right back.” He gave one final squeeze and waited for the confirmation in Corpse’s eyes before very reluctantly breaking his grasp on Corpse.

He started to break away but paused. Turning back, Sykkuno hesitantly reached out to gently brush his thumb along the outline of Corpse’s cheek through his mask. He wasn’t sure if it was the right move to make but given that Corpse’s eyelids fluttered closed and he leaned into the touch maybe it was ok? 

He listened to Corpse’s soft exhale and took careful note of his hand twitching slightly where it rested in his lap before dropping his arm and scampering off to grab as many towels as he could find. Heart beating _hard_ inside his chest. 

Harder than Sykkuno might care to admit.

There had to be _something_ in one of the boxes sitting around his bathroom. 

Sykkuno nearly lost his breath sprinting up the stairs as his rush started to wear out. That’s what he gets for living his sedentary, gamer lifestyle and streaming without sleep. There was no such option to be a hero in real life. Leaning forward in front of his bathroom mirror against the sink, he gasped for air. 

_Ok, get a hold of yourself._

He caught a glance of himself in the mirror. It had only been a few short, adrenaline packed minutes and his emotions were riding high. 

Sykkuno looked like an absolute mess. Everything was out of place, his hoodie was half soaked through where he had pressed himself against Corpse. Each wet patch on his clothes reminded him of a point of contact. What he had done. Who he had touched. 

He brought a trembling hand up to his mouth as realization crashed down all at once.  
  


Corpse was downstairs. In _his house_. He drove all the way to Vegas because Sykkuno was the only person he felt he could come to.

_And he still had no idea why._

God, he needed to get this crush under control because talk about signals. Distraction, distraction. He could start with the bathtub, make Corpse a bath so the man could at least get some relaxation in after such a long drive through what was basically a flash flood warning in the desert. Plus it would warm him up!

_Do I still have the epsom salt gift basket from that one PO box stream…?_

It feels unreal to be drawing a bath for the guy he had fallen for on stream. 

It had been a long time since Sykkuno had come in physical contact with or even touched another person besides the brief interactions with his family before moving out, out of fear for the virus. And here he was, somehow forgetting everything happening in the world and moving without a second thought. He knew Corpse was safer than most and he had nothing he might pass to Corpse since he had been so careful this entire pandemic. 

But it was…

Exhilarating and natural all at once. His fantasies come to life. 

He found the epsom salts, bypassing a homemade bath bomb. Next was clothes, most of which was still packed away. Sykkuno had been pulling out clothes on an “as needed” basis and the only oversized items he wore on the regular were sweatpants and hoodies. 

Recent events had proven his theory that Corpse was quite a bit broader than Sykkuno and he stood several centimeters higher. A fact he couldn't overlook if he tried.

“Corpse!” he called down the stairs, a little giddy knowing they were in such close quarters. “I’m drawing you a bath! I haven’t unpacked much of my clothing but I have some sweats and a hoodie that might fit you? Is that okay for now? I’ll hunt for a shirt in the morning.”

There was a low rumble from downstairs which sounded kinda affirmative so Sykkuno took it as a ‘yes’ as he pulled out a pair of dark sweats and a light green sweater. Not Corpse's style but it would have to do.

He paused, hands hovering over the pile of clean clothes on his dresser that he had yet to put away. It was mostly socks and underwear. 

Not giving himself enough time to imagine it, Sykkuno grabbed the nearest pair of stretchy boxer briefs. Hoping they wouldn’t be too tight. 

Not that Sykkuno would have minded though.

He groaned and mentally slapped himself again. _Ok ok, get ahold of yourself. What are you, a freaking teenager?_

Instead, he opened the top drawer and raked the rest of his clean laundry in. Any premeditated concept of organization thrown out the window. He placed Corpse’s stuff on top, carefully folding and smoothing everything out before doing a final check around his bedroom.

Not too messy, sheets were clean and the bed was only a little rumpled from where he sat on it earlier before Stream. Everything else was still packed away in boxes and his walls lacked any decor. 

He shuffled through some of the lighter boxes and dug through their contents, fishing for a soft towel material. After three attempts he found a space bath towel. Along with a small bundle of extra hand towels he normally had tucked away in his closet. 

It would do.

He placed them on the bed.

Swiping the epsom salts up and grabbing the larger towel, he kicked the open boxes into the closet and headed back into the bathroom to check the status of Corpse’s bath. He didn’t want to let the water level get too high in case Corpse fell asleep and/or slouched beneath the water. 

Pouring in about a third of the bag of epsom salts, he turned off the flow and stuck a hand in to check the temperature and mix the salts in. No measuring cup but it seemed like enough and the water was hot enough to relax Corpse’s joints which were no doubt sore after being folded in a car and waiting in the cold rain. He remembered him mentioning how much hot showers helped his pain once. 

Replacing his own bath towel with the clean one, he tossed his over the empty laundry hamper.

Nodding in approval, Sykkuno headed back downstairs. Grabbing the rest of the hand towels on the way. 

_Please be alright, please be alright, please be alright..._

Sykkuno punctuated each word silently beneath his breath with each step down the stairs. 

_Please still be here._

Corpse was slumped exactly where Sykkuno had left him but it wasn’t as negatively charged as before. He was leaning down slightly to gently scratch behind Bimbus’s ears. There was a weird sense of relief that rippled over Sykkuno seeing him again in the flesh and seemingly feeling a little better.

He almost didn’t want to interrupt but the sound of Sykkuno’s socks hitting the title caused him to snap his head up. His eyes went from on guard to relaxed once he saw who it was.

“Sorry if I scared you.” He offered up one of the towels.

“No no, it’s okay. I was having a staring contest with the Bimb himself.” Corpse explained as he took the towel from Sykkuno’s outstretched hand. He halfheartedly rubbed it through his thick curls, weighed down with rainwater, before letting it fall against the back of his neck.

Sykkuno smiled, glad to see some of Corpse’s humor had returned. He circled the kitchen island and flicked the electric kettle on, double checking there was enough water. 

“Who won?”

“Probably him, I think I blacked out for a moment out of sheer exhaustion.” Corpse chuckled.

Sykkuno pursed his lips together. 

“You can stay sitting right there, I forgot to offer you some tea. Do you have a preference? It’ll warm you up.”

Corpse looked a little stunned, “Oh, anything is fine. Thank you Sykkuno.”

“Ok, SleepyTime it is!” Sykkuno beamed, pulling out two different mugs. “I always make myself a cup when I have a hard time sleeping after a stream.”

There was something weirdly domestic about the way Corpse was looking at him from across the kitchen island. Sykkuno could tell he was smiling from the fond expression in his eyes but his mask still covered the rest of his features. The towel hung loosely around his neck, hair still wet.

“Sorry if I took so long. The bath is ready for you! I didn’t fill it all the way so if you want to add some hot water once you’re in there, feel free. I mixed in some epsom salts so you can hopefully relax a bit-” Sykkuno gasped, “Unless you don’t like salts? I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking. I read up on ways to help relieve muscle and joint pain way back when we met just in case it could ever come in handy. I can’t believe I didn’t even think to ask.”

Sykkuno covered his face in his hands, averting his eyes.

“I’m so sorry.”

Corpse pulled himself out of the chair, much to Bimbus’s disappointment where he had leaned against Corpse’s shin. 

“Sykkuno.” Corpse shakily exhaled as he made his way around the island and before Sykkuno could react, he felt a thick pair of arms wrap around him. He jumped a little in surprise but settled into the hug easily. 

He brushed away the thought on how well they fit together, there were more important feelings to focus on now. 

“Corpse?” He was worried. 

“Sykkuno it’s perfect. You’re perfect. Thank you.” Corpse’s voice reverberated against his chest. “Literally no one else would automatically think to do any of this when some person they’ve never really met just showed up looking like a drowned rat at their front door in the middle of the night.”

Sykkuno leaned his head back to look Corpse in the eyes, but brought his arms up to tighten around him and keep himself in his embrace. He gave a reassuring smile. 

“You’re no stranger, Corpse! Of course I would, it’s the least I could do for you right now.” 

Sykkuno would be lying if he said he had never imagined this moment, this first interaction. How their meeting would play out. And now Corpse was properly standing before him in the flesh, arms wrapped around him with his brown eyes peering deep into his own. 

He leaned forward again, chin nestled in-between Sykkuno’s shoulder and neck. 

Sykkuno sends a silent prayer up to whatever heavens there are to thank the gods for their perfect height ratio making this all the more comfortable.

“Here,” he offered, “Let me get your hair for you.”

  
Corpse mumbled, nodding but didn’t let go, pulling Sykkuno in even tighter. 

Sykkuno reached to unwind the towel from Corpse’s shoulders, feeling him shiver as the fabric dragged across his throat, and began to rub circles into his scalp. Soaking up as much rain as he could from his hair and patting down his shoulders. He got to business, working the fabric over Corpse’s head and shoulders, trying to be as gentle but firm as possible. 

“I’m glad you seem to be feeling a little better than when you first arrived.” Sykkuno murmured. 

He felt Corpse’s full body shudder around him before the man grunted softly in response. His breathing was so steady, it almost felt like he was falling asleep on top of Sykkuno but his weight didn’t become overbearing so his eyes must just be closed.

It made Sykkuno feel a little more secure in the boundaries they were pushing together. 

Honestly, if not for the towel, it may not have been too unnatural for Sykkuno to just run his fingers through Corpse’s curls. Playing with the soft strands at the base of his neck instead of hand drying them off. 

Maybe a massage too. 

They stayed there, hugging in Sykkuno’s new kitchen at 3 in the morning with Sykkuno towelling Corpse off as best he could until the kettle started to whistle to indicate it was done boiling. Corpse was reluctant to let go of him.

It came as a surprise to Sykkuno how touchy feely Corpse had been acting since his arrival. He could have sworn he heard a whine when he pulled away. Sykkuno stretched across the counter to grab the tea boxes and pour the water into each mug. Corpse’s leg was still pressed against his and Sykkuno didn’t want to break that contact. 

“Here,” Sykkuno handed him the larger mug and paused. “”If you want I can look away so you can drink it, I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable at all.” 

Corpse’s eyes flicked down to his before widening in recognition. He held the mug in his right and brought his left hand up to the mask on his face. 

“Oh.” Corpse placed the mug on the counter. “As long as you’re ok with seeing my face, it’s no trouble. It’s not like it needs to be this big deal but I trust you, You’re-” he considered his next words carefully. “You’re someone I would want to see me.”

Oh man, his heart was fluttering again.

Sykkuno nodded solemnly, not wanting to make Corpse regret coming all this way but unable to take his eyes off him after that statement. 

“I feel like I should put down my mug for this.” Sykkuno joked to lighten the mood, setting down his tea.

Corpse laughed bitterly, “It’s not that special, I promise you. I just have a regular fucking face that could never live up to all the hype.” 

“No no, Corpse.” Sykkuno interrupted. “It’s special to me _because_ it’s your face. It’s a part of you you’re allowing me to share in. Whatever your face looks like will fit who you are, you don’t need to fit into your own face, okay?”

Corpse stood rigid, eyes wide with an unreadable emotion. 

“Okay?” Sykkuno asked again, no less hesitant. He needed to make sure Corpse didn’t feel uncomfortable. 

“Okay.”

In a single moment Sykkuno would tuck away into his most treasured memories, Corpse lifted his hands and peeled away the face mask. 

He was all strong jawed and pronounced cheekbones with scarred skin that made Sykkuno’s heartache. There were indents pressed into his features from the seams of his mask and his lips were full and surprisingly not chapped but a little worried where Corpse must have chewed at the inside of his lower lip. He could swear they were still shining though. Years of pain etched their way into his features but sykkuno could still see smile lines in the corners of his mouth. Sykkuno started to reach out, he was-

“Beautiful.” 

Corpse sputtered, coughing. Sykkuno slapped his hand back over his mouth. 

“Oh Jesus, did I say that outloud?! I meant handsome. I mean you look fine! More than fine, really good. Well you are beautiful,I knew you would be but oh Jesus I’m rambling aren't I, um.” He gusted in a deep breath while Corpse stared at him with anticipation. Calmed down.

“Let me try again. You look like Corpse. And that’s exactly everything I would have ever dreamed of seeing. Thank you for trusting me enough to show me your face.”

Corpse smiled. It was his first genuine smile on full display to Sykkuno and he couldn’t get enough. 

“Sykkuno.” Oh god his name was the first word he got to properly see Corpse say, his heart was performing flips. His name looked so good coming off of his lips. “Thank you.”

Corpse fumbled a bit, about to reach for Sykkuno again but deciding at the last minute to pull back and give a little jazz hands motion. 

“This is me.” He announced, jokingly.

“You look amazing, Corpse.” Sykkuno gushed. “Can I?” he asked hesitantly. Waiting for consent this time.

Corpse granted immediate permission to Sykkuno’s wandering hands. If he was a little eager, Sykkuno didn’t notice. 

Corpse leaned down and settled the full weight of his head on his chin into Sykkuno’s cupped hands. The pads of his fingers traced along his cheekbones and the outlines of his features. His skin felt cool to the touch and Sykkuno knew he should probably usher him and his tea into the bath before it got cold but the way Corpse gently nuzzled into his palms made him drag out this moment a little longer. 

Corpse’s breathing came to a slow and steady rhythm that Sykkuno could feel blowing out of his nose. He brushed his fingers across Corpse’s upper lip, loving the feel of Corpse’s breath running over the top of his hands.

It was proof he was here. Proof he was alive.

But his full body shiver and the damp curls that rested atop his head must have been proof he was freezing in Sykkuno’s kitchen.

Sykkuno pulled back, already missing the feeling of Corpse’s face. 

“I’m so sorry, that was weird right? People don’t just do that right?” 

“It’s okay, Sykkuno.” Corpse sounded a little winded from the sudden shift. “I gave you my consent.” he chuckled. 

“Thank bingus,” Sykkuno gratefully accepted the lighter mood and reached to hand Corpse his mug. “Here, why don’t you take a few sips of that and I’ll show you where everything's set up for you.”

“Sounds good,” Corpse rumbled, taking a sip of the hot tea and sighing in contentment. He let Sykkuno lead the way up the stairs, cradling the warm mug in his hands.

“My room is the only bathroom with a tub so I put your change of clothes on top of the dresser by my bed.” Corpse nodded as they ascended. “Then the towel hanging on the bathroom door itself is brand new. Mine is the one on the laundry basket so you can just leave it there. You came at a good time, I just figured out my washer dryer today so everything was either clean or still packed away. I’ve been lazy with unpacking.” 

“Thank goodness I chose tonight of all nights to frantically drive through the desert for an impromptu visit.” Corpse laughed. “But I’m feeling better already.”

Sykkuno opened up the door to his room as he turned to smile at Corpse. 

“I’m so glad. And after you’re warmed up and ready, I’m ready to be here for you as much as I can.”

Corpse placed a hand on his shoulder, “Thank you Sykkuno, seriously. You have no idea how much that means to me.”

Sykkuno blushed, hoping it didn’t show. 

“But I think I’d like to take that bath now.” Corpse laughed, “I don’t want to keep you up any longer than I already had.”

“Don’t even worry about it, Corpse. Take all the time you need, just don’t fall asleep in the tub!”

  
“What a way that would be to go. In Sykkuno's bathtub.” he chuckles.

“Corpse.” Sykkuno pouted, “Promise me?”

“I promise I promise,” he laughed. “And in case I do, you have my full consent to come into the bathroom to check on me.” He winked and Sykkuno’s whole face burned, picturing what that would look like. Steam fogging his vision, he choked on absolutely nothing and almost dropped his mug. 

“Oh god, Sykkuno. Don’t _you_ choke on me now.” Corpse frantically patted his back, worry consuming his features. He pulled Sykkuno’s mug away and placed it on the dresser. 

“Sykkuno?!”

Sykkuno wheezed shaking his head, “Don’t worry about it, I’m-” He coughed, words barely squeaking out of his throat. “I’ll be okay just.” Another cough, “Before it gets cold, please.” he gestured to the bathroom door.

Corpse switched to rubbing his back and trailed his hands over Sykkuno’s shoulders and up his throat to his chin to pull his face up. He tried to help steady his breathing by matching each gulp of air with a whoosh of his own. Their noses were almost touching. 

“Sykkuno…” he whispered, brown eyes hooded and half lidded. It felt like rolling storm clouds. “Sykkuno.”

Sykkuno surged backwards, choking harder and not wanting to cough directly in Corpse’s face. Eyes frantic. 

“Don’t worry about me.” His voice sounded so winded. “I’ll be fine just-”

Sykkuno began pushing him through the bathroom door.

“Call for me if you need anything.”

Corpse hesitated but Sykkuno nodded enthusiastically and thumbs-upped, coughing harder. Unable to say much more. 

He shut the door and immediately backed up against it and slid to the ground. Lungs burning and gulping for air. His face was on fire. He couldn’t get Corpse’s face out of his head. 

His wink, the mental image of Corpse soaking in the tub, his desperate attempt to help him out, the gravel in his voice with his lips forming around Sykkuno’s name again and again. Their faces so close together. How close he’s been all night. The overload of physical contact after who knows how long alone.

Sykkuno curled up into a ball and buried his face into his knees, positive that his blush must have spread down his neck. Every single point of contact they had had still burned. He couldn’t help his natural reaction to a person. Especially someone who he had been thinking about for so long.

_What the hell was that?_

_What the_ **_hell_ ** _was that??_

He could blame the rush for his flushed features.

Corpse had shown up on his doorstep not even half an hour ago and Sykkuno may have already fallen even harder into some deep shit.


	2. I want to be kissed like it's the last time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Corpse POV on his pilgrimage to Las Vegas and what happens after he arrives! 
> 
> He feels things. A lot of things. Some are heartwarming and others are frankly very indecent. But it's all a part of what he needs and why he's here. 
> 
> (Somehow this chapter is 4x longer than the first and I am so sorry. Also I made a twitter @GomiSakka)

There were some real fucking downsides to being alone. 

_Currently_ **_one_ ** _in particular._

It started months ago as an itch beneath his skin. Sometimes it was a quiet buzz. Simple, just a gentle reminder. Other times it consumed his entire body and ate away at his sanity leaving behind nothing but a husk. 

Over time, that itch turned into a smouldering ember imbued within his bones which sparked into a flame, licking away at his entire being.

To put it simply, his libido was on fucking fire. And there was literally never anything he could do about it. 

Corpse spent _days_ \- no. _Weeks_ clawing away at his own flesh beneath the covers in the throes of desperation, but he could never satisfy his urges. It was anything but tender gentle loving. He was a man starved of touch. 

This wasn’t an itch he could scratch alone but there wasn’t anyone to come to his aid.

It felt like a fucking inferno eating him alive. 

* * *

Before Corpse’s decent into absolute madness, he was perfectly sound in his decision to be left in isolation. He’d said it before and he’ll say it again. Being a faceless content creator was beyond just a disposition and career, it was a lifestyle. 

One that _usually_ brought with it an array of issues but remained stagnant day to day. In a way, he could depend on the consistency of his problems and prepare for them when he was feeling particularly self preserving. 

It didn’t happen **_often_ ** but it happened. 

The thing he didn’t anticipate was a global pandemic forcing literally _every single person on earth_ into the same situation as him. For Corpse, not much had changed day to day. This was already his “normal” but when the stay at home order was announced, he will admit that life took on a different tone. 

There were three key assumptions people have been making about Corpse during these times. 

**The first assumption.**

A lot of his newer fans attributed the pandemic to how Corpse was able to network and grow so close to his streaming buddies and honestly, it wasn’t completely false. Part of his quick rise to popularity may be attributed to the fact that so many of his new friends and fans had been able to sympathize with him as they built their relationships around this mutual understanding of the stay at home order. 

But he couldn’t say it was true because the bigger reason for his rise to the top was people regularly supporting his content creation and not only recognizing his talent, but also helping him see his accomplishments in a more positive light as well. 

At least he hoped this assumption wasn’t true because even after this pandemic it could all end and live in his memory but Corpse desperately wanted to at least hold on to these relationships beyond their in-game interactions for as long as they’d all tolerate him. 

Normally when anyone suggested meeting up in person after the pandemic or daydreamed in proximity chat about all the things they’d do once they could go outside again, Corpse felt a nice glow of warmth even though he knew that wasn’t an option to him even if it was an open invite. 

He was genuinely happy for his friends. Relieved that they weren’t confined by illness and paranoia to their homes and that they actually had something to look forward to. 

Normally, he had a somber smile ripple across his features. It was foreign but made him happy to have this support system and to have built such a large platform of people who genuinely cared for him and who he cared for in return.

And for once he knew that these friends he had made would last beyond just the pandemic. 

When they left their homes again, he knew that they’d still come back to him. He was secure in this knowledge that they wouldn’t be as temporary as covid (hopefully) would end up being. 

So yes, in a way he did have the pandemic to thank for the friend group he had built relationships with during this time. But that wasn’t all there was.

**The second assumption.**

Being a faceless influencer makes everything about content creation easier. 

Corpse couldn’t speak for everyone but not for him, that was for fucking sure. 

Corpse wasn’t going to lie though, sometimes he burned with jealousy over faceless creators who (besides their vast following on social media) were able to leave their home without fear of being recognized on the street. Sometimes, in fleeting moments, he bitterly thought about how he would give just about ANYTHING for voice with no particular qualities or a sense of style not resulting from years of silently pronouncing “this is me!” to his peers. 

Sometimes he wished that the very things that made him “Corpse Husband”, his brand, his voice, and his presence, could all be nullified for even just a day. 

God, the things he would do. 

Not that he had gone out much before anyway but as his youtube channel rapidly began gaining traction and his analytics skyrocketed, his confidence to leave his home (little that there was to begin with) decreased with each subscriber count increase. 

One more person watching him online was one more person watching out for him offline. 

Clickbait video after clickbait video of “who really is Corpse Husband?” and “Face reveal?!” with falsely censored thumbnails hit the internet like gatekeepers around his virtual cell. A wikipedia page he barely thought he deserved was updated with every morsel of information it could gobble up. 

He was terrified that one day someone would pull out a camera on him ordering at a drive through and show the world what he wasn’t even ready to share with even his closest friends. 

This was the interesting phenomenon that occurred when a faceless influencer gained traction. The more the world knew their screen name, the more it hungered for his real one. 

Especially one like Corpse. Who’s unique voice and bits of information that had slipped whenever he felt as though no one cared to listen made him more and more appealing to the huntsmen of the world wide web. 

Corpse was becoming more and more paranoid. If he had any uncovered mirrors in his house he would be practicing disguises in them but he was no actor. 

Not only that but his biggest tell was the acid burning away his vocals to a point beyond repair. 

There would be no mistaking who he was if he opened his mouth, it felt like there was only a matter of time before his numbers would grow so big there would be no more “safe” people to talk to. 

Even going to his doctor’s appointments caused panic to rise in his throat and shut down his ability to speak.

It was like real life Among Us and he was the biggest fucking imposter out there, trying not to get caught in a lobby he entered once stepping past his front door.

So yeah, not easier in the least. 

Although the third and final recent assumption was the furthest from the truth. 

**Assumption number three.**

“Due to his reclusive lifestyle, Corpse Husband does not have a special someone in his life.”

While he may be afraid of love and commitment, this one is the furthest from the truth. 

There was one person who Corpse had found himself drawn to. The only person who could hear the slightest shift in Corpse’s baritone voice and the only person who Corpse had met in an Among Us lobby who could truly relax him no matter how much pain he was in. He was also a man which set him apart from all of Corpse’s past relationships. 

Corpse was _obsessed_ with Sykkuno. 

And Sykkuno had _no fucking idea_ how much power he held over Corpse’s everything. 

If Sykkuno told him to get down on his knees and beg, Corpse would in a heartbeat. If Sykkuno told him to eat three meals a day and water, he’d see a vast improvement in his lifestyle through his desperate obedience. 

**Love** was a strong commitment but a weak word. 

To put it more accurately, Corpse _craved_ Sykkuno. This wasn’t any of that soft shit, **_please_ **. None of that white picket fence, apple pie and butterfly kisses kind of love. This was a fucking obsession. 

He spent hours on end watching Sykkuno’s streams and letting his voice wash over him. The reason it started was because Sykkuno’s voice had a calming effect on his nerves but as he fell deeper and deeper and spent more and more nights completely alone, it became the only sound that could quell the fire within. 

He was **_diseased_ **.

It was gnawing at his bones, eating away his ability to return to rational thought. And literally nothing could satiate this burning desire.

The other day someone in Sykkuno’s chat had called him “hot” and Corpse had never felt his own jealousy burn hotter. Whoever that person was is a stranger to the both of them and yet somehow Corpse was still consumed by it. 

If this was love this was a fucking mess. The insurrection against his sanity.

And he couldn’t break free of it it was 24 fucking hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s become the main thing keeping him up all night. 

Desperation. 

Unattached entanglements and anonymous nights of passion. That’s where he could shine. But love?

Building the foundations of something he knew (or at least hoped) to be permanent was usually too much for his nerves. He severely doubted his ability to handle it.

His brain would run through a million horrific hypothetical situations that all ended in disaster and loss before his mouth could utter a single line to begin a conversation. 

Another thing people often paired with this assumption was that he despised all forms of touch and affection. It was actually quite the opposite. He craved validation and contact, yearned for any amount of warmth offered to him, lapped up the attention that was paid to _him_. 

He was most definitely a predominantly ‘physical touch’ kind of lover if he was a lover at all.

He desperately wanted someone who saw through his masked disguise and wanted more. Wanted more of him. Wanted more of _CORPSE_ , not just “Corpse Husband”. Maybe it sounded beyond fucking stupid (he couldn’t tell anymore) but when he talked to Sykkuno, he felt that. He felt him speaking **_to_ ** him.

It should have been enough to soften his heart and cleanse his soul but instead _The Sykkuno Effect_ as he’s so sarcastically coined it had literally rendered him in-fucking-capable of getting off to anyone or anything else. 

Every single impersonal relationship he had established had disengaged from the pleasure sensors in his brain so he cut them all off. Adult videos streamed on illegal sites just disgusted him now but he still gave it a shot. He had even tried to buy vintage fucking skin magazines of both men and women to see if maybe he just needed the imagination factor but nothing. 

Zero results. 

Sykkuno had blown in like a fucking hurricane and taken up residence in his brain. 

And Corpse hadn’t been able to satiate his libido for _months_.

In said global pandemic. 

Where his options were **heavily** limited. 

No number of shallow encounters could ever satisfy this craving of his and he was too non-commital to build something to last. Past experience indicated that he was incapable of developing a normal relationship no matter how much he wanted to and the forecast of his future circumstances wasn’t ideal for most. 

Corpse whole heartedly and solemnly swore that he would and could never build a future with someone. He never wanted to burden them with his “issues.”

Loving him would be a self-imposed curse, confining you in a coffin with a partner who had already accepted his descent into the grave.He couldn’t do that to his worst enemy, let alone someone he _loved_. Or obsessed over, same thing.

Above all, he didn’t want to lose Sykkuno. It would destroy him.

There wasn’t even anything remotely sexual or even romantic between the two of them and Corpse was pining over his incredibly platonic and heterosexual streaming buddy like some bitch waiting for her husband to return from war. 

Don’t be mistaken. Corpse could totally still mastrabate. It’s honestly gotten embarrassing how much time he wasted doing so. 

He started wearing sweatpants while streaming because his jeans were just too painful and when they would chat over voice chat on Discord, he had to excuse himself earlier and earlier. Trying to ignore the disappointment or sadness in Sykkuno’s tone. 

  
Eventually he just began burying himself in work and turning down invites as an excuse to not hurt any feelings. Their calls became fewer and far between. 

Corpse should probably feel guilty. _On so many levels._

It started that way but now he couldn’t even differentiate guilt from arousal anymore. He was too far gone. 

Gritting his teeth his eyes fell to his open laptop. 

Well, at least Sykkuno was supposed to be streaming in a couple hours. Raging boners aside, if he could hold out until then it would be enough for Sykkuno’s voice to reach through his headphones and supplement for the touch he lacked. 

Maybe this time, it would be enough. 

This time it would quell the insatiable yearning itching beneath his skin. The uncomfortable feeling worming it’s way into his joints and sewing into his bones. 

_Please_.

(He knew it wouldn’t any more than it did yesterday or this morning, but a man could dream.)

They say if it lasts more than 5 hours, call a doctor. What about 5 days? How about 5 _weeks_. God he was probably gonna reach 5 months soon then who knows. Maybe he’d be dead in 5 years as the horinest person alive. Never being satisfied by the touch of another living soul since discovering the drug that was Sykkuno. 

So yeah.

**There were some real fucking downsides to being alone.**

Like falling in love with someone you couldn’t touch. But again, this wasn’t love, no no no. 

It was a fucking **_need_ **. 

* * *

If Corpse had been better at deciphering his own emotions, he would have realized it was love a lot sooner.

And that Sykkuno wanted him too. 

* * *

There’s no single trigger. No particular reason. Corpse always thought that when he inevitably cracked and succumbed to the yawning cavern inside him, it would be just as explosive as any of his outbursts and he’d be breaking everything in his path, including Sykkuno.

Initially Corpse thought he would only last a couple weeks. That he would crave after a few lobbies with Sykkuno. Then it was him offering up a hand-delivery of Corpse’s merch to him. Maybe making Sykkuno laugh was going to be it for him. Or maybe he would crack after Sykkuno announced his move to Vegas, laying himself bare before he was out of reach.

It never happened though, Corpse was too much of a fucking coward. Holding out for that feeling of _something_ he couldn’t even offer in return.

But it was just a normal night, tuning into Sykkuno’s stream in an attempt to satiate his needs while simultaneously feeling guilty for using his friend as a fix to his own obsession. 

_Penny in the air._

“What is up guys, it’s Sykkuno here!” He laughed into the palm of his hand and Corpse’s treacherous heart skipped a beat. He was already smiling, breathing steadying. The Sykkuno Energy taking effect on his nerves. 

“It's been awhile since I’ve started a Stream jumping right in like that. I just figured since I got the last box delivered to my new place today, I could do something special to commemorate it!” 

_Fuck, he was cute._ Corpse groaned inwardly.

“What was that? Am I all moved in?”

Sykkuno’s eyes scrolled over the chat.

“No not yet, there’s actually boxes all over my house. I’ve been pretty lazy about it. I know I said that I’ve got tons of free time but I’ve been feeling off my game recently with the move and all. There are certainly some people I didn’t want to leave behind in California but it’s ok! I just hope they are doing okay but we still play games together all the time. I know we’re still the best of friends!” 

Sykkuno politely chuckled at the influx of supportive chat icons that flooded his stream.

“Is there someone special?” Sykkuno recited carefully before sputtering, as if he read it aloud before processing what it said. “Oh Jesus, come on guys! You know... You guys know that people aren’t into me. Hahaha no, no of course I mean all my friends like Lily and Toast and Rae and,” he paused and Corpse could swear he held his breath as Sykkuno gave a little smile. “And of course my good buddy Corpse! And everyone!” 

Something jerked in his chest. Corpse’s eyes trained on Sykkuno’s expression searching for any indication of… anything. 

_Give me a purpose. Give me an excuse._ He pleaded. 

_An excuse for what?_

“Chill the fuck out, he called you a friend.” He grumbled aloud to no one in particular and yeah, it sounded just about as bitter and dumb as it came out of his mouth. 

“Oh thank you for all the well wishes, and thank you BingusBeans for the 40 gift subs! That’s a lot of gift subs, BingusBeans! That’s going straight to my food budget this week, thanks a lot~” 

Corpse couldn’t help but giggle at how earnestly Sykkuno recited off names like _BingusBeans_.

_Cute._

When he wasn’t horny, he was anxious and Sykkuno honestly was his solution to both issues. It made him feel at ease, just listening to the drawl of Sykkuno’s voice take up residence in the back of his mind and whisper to the anxiety that would usually rear its ugly head at this hour of the night. 

There’s something about tonight in particular though. Maybe it’s the kiss of spring in the air after a tough winter. Maybe it’s the particularly monotonous drone of Sykkuno thanking gift subs settling into the back of his mind. Maybe it’s because he’s finally getting better at curb-stomping this crush (doubtful) but Corpse carries himself out of bed, shrugs on a few layers, grabs his keys and plugs in his headphones as he covers his face with two masks. 

A drive sounds nice. 

It’s a simple thought. Just taking Sykkuno’s voice along for a ride to clear his head until he’s surrounded by nothing but Sykkuno. 

_Penny in the air._

It wasn’t a fissure splitting open or Corpse meeting his wit’s end. He didn’t blow a fuse and his mind was clear. He was fully aware of himself fumbling with the lock on his door, walking to the parking garage of his structure, and starting the ignition. 

_Penny in the air._

There was no mistake in his actions as Corpse pulled out onto an empty street. It was even one of those nights where the cold brings dead silence along with it. It’s especially nice that the only light was coming from the glow of the moon and flickering street lamps. He rarely got to look at the world without eye strain these days. Usually, they were his favorite nights. Aimlessly driving (almost) never failed to reinvigorate the spirit, help him search for inspiration or honestly, just clear his head. 

No destination, just road. 

Never encountering another soul while losing track of time. It was perfect. 

The last few nights had been too cloudy but this one was hitting just right. Corpse was just going on a drive to clear his head. He went on a lot of those, right? This was normal. 

_Right?_

_Penny in the air._

So why was it that instead of subconsciously driving himself aimlessly in a general direction, Corpse was headed towards a pretty specific location?

_Penny in the air._

His internet connection started to falter and the cityscape fell away. Clouds began rolling into his barren path and Sykkuno’s voice was cutting in and out of his headphones.

He said something about rain starting to fall outside his window. Corpse looked ahead to where that very storm must have been brewing. 

_Penny in the air._

The interstate had a higher speed limit which he was already exceeding. A sign flashed by. Maybe a little too quickly but Corpse was able to recognize one word. 

**“Vegas”**

_And the penny drops._

_Fuck._

As if to drive the point in further, Sykkuno’s stream sounded with his soft laughter. 

“Oh Jesus!” probably in response to someone getting killed.

_Oh Jesus, indeed._

* * *

A few fat drops of rain plopped onto his windshield as the sky held its breath before unleashing an onslaught of hail. Soon enough it was pelting against his windshield and his wipers looked as though they were just about to fly off. Corpse cursed under his breath and his tires squealed as his hydroplaned across the slick asphalt. 

  
Thank god it was nearly 2am in the middle of butt fucking nowhere. It was like some force of nature was either telling him to turn back or challenging him to prove he’s willing to move forward. 

“What am I doing…” Corpse sighed.

Sykkuno’s stream volume was still low in his ears but it was cutting in and out as he lost service. Even though his connection finally gave in, he gently pulled his headphones from his ears without taking his eyes off the road. Corpse couldn’t see the battery level on his phone but he assumed it was probably cut in half. 

Twitch, as he had learned from watching so many of Sykkuno’s streams in the past month, ate his battery like a fucking five-star meal. 

His eyes flicked back to the time illuminated on his dashboard. _1:54am_ blinked back angrily at him. Corpse groaned, raking the hair out of his face and puffing out a gust of air through his nose. 

Corpse’s unhealthy dependence on Sykkuno’s voice had backfired on him. The second it wasn’t his main focus on the road, he was forced to accept his current situation. His heart started picking up speed and his breath was coming out uneven. 

_What the fuck am I doing? Why the fuck am I doing this? What am I fucking expecting, showing up on his doorstep in the middle of the night._

He let up on the accelerator and steadily applied the break, pulling off on the dirt at the side of the road. Corpse killed the ignition and groaned, smashing his head into the steering wheel. 

_I should just quit while I’m ahead._

He should just go back. Head back home and pretend he hadn’t just dissociated and driven nearly three and a half hours into the desert towards a man he had never met in person and spent the last month pining over like a horny teenager. 

Or at least make sure he had enough gas to make either trip. There was nothing quite like being stranded in your car during a hailstorm. Corpse briefly entertained the idea of sleeping in his car right where it was but trashed that pretty quickly since winter still hadn’t made it’s way out and his body probably couldn’t take that amount of frigid in his bones. 

Winter was always the hardest on his nerves and while he had recently started keeping his meds on him at all times, last he checked he hadn’t grabbed blankets before making his way into the fucking _Mojave Desert_. 

Plus if his battery died running the heater he wouldn’t be able to move anywhere without asking for a jump and the last thing he was about to do was talk to someone who could place his voice.

_Damned if I do, damned if I don’t._

Corpse laughed bitterly. God he could use a drink. 

Peeking at the range on his dashboard, he racked his brain trying to remember when was the last time he pumped his tank. How bad could it be? At least he was finally giving some of his lyrics a new meaning. 

_Won’t off the gas until it’s empty, huh?_

He was running on fumes. 

He bit back a curse, not wanting the dam inside him to overflow. Losing his goddamn mind in the middle of nowhere when he was trapped inside his vehicle was only going to make the situation worse. 

And somehow just that made him want to go apeshit even more. Kick his tires in and scream until his throat was raw and he was coughing up a lung on the side of the road. Maybe crying. 

“FUCK.” The word punched it’s way out of his chest.

He sucked in a breath. 

Ok. First thing’s first.

Gas. 

Get some gas first then deal with the situation before him. He knew there were no close stations where he had come from otherwise he would just head back. Corpse was banking on a oasis ahead of him in the middle of this fucking storm.

_Please, if one thing goes right tonight, please let it be this. I need a station within a…_ He checked his gas gauge again. _28 mile driving range._

Of course his brain uselessly filled in that 28 was how old Sykkuno was. _And probably how inconvenienced he would be out of 10 if I showed up unannounced in the middle of the night,_ he shot back at himself.

Taking a breath, he unlocked his phone. Sykkuno’s stream was still buffering on the screen and a reflexive smile ghosted across his lips, giving him a little hope. He screenshotted it for good luck, Sykkuno’s nose all scrunched up.

Corpse closed out the app and scrolled. Whether his hands were shaking from the nerves or illness, he wasn’t sure. But he pulled up google maps and tapped the little icon for “nearby refuel stations.” 

The screen loaded. 

It loaded for longer than Corpse could swallow down the panic bubbling up in his throat. 

_Fuck this was such a mistake. Please please please..._

_Your Search Indicated_ **_3_ ** _Results_

_Nearest Location:_ **_14 miles ahead_ **

He gushed out a sigh of relief. 

_Thank_ **_fuck_ ** _._

He jabbed his index finger into the screen and routed the directions. 17 minutes wasn’t too bad.   
  


He sent silence thanks to his little good luck charm sitting in a room in Nevada, streaming this late in the night. Corpse would get gas first then deal with the real issue at hand. 

* * *

_Of course_ it was one of those places where you had to pay inside. 

Why wouldn’t it be? 

It was just his luck to not only snap out of his mindless drive to realize he needed gas (and miraculously find a gas station within his mileage) but to end up at the only stations who didn’t let you pay at the pump after hours. 

Was this the universe punishing him for simping so hard he drove into the desert? 

At least the hail let up and it was only fucking _pouring_ buckets of water from the sky. He glared at the offending gas pump like it was the blame for his current predicament, being the only thing helping his cause at the moment. 

Grumbling, he turned his head towards the illuminated windows of the petrol station, weighing his options. 

There were two people working, both looking to be on the younger side of things which didn’t bode well for the demographics of his viewers but hopefully they would be too bored and distracted by their own conversation to be bothered by some silent stranger whose throat closed up when he tried to talk.

Corpse was sure he wouldn’t be the first weirdo of the night who just placed down cash and breathed heavily in his mask instead of responding. Plus his was the only car so it wouldn’t be a question as to which pump he was using. 

Hopefully they would speak first so he wasn’t just standing there waiting to nod. 

It was now or never…

He pulled a black fabric mask over his surgical one for a little extra kick of anonymity and cleared his throat, making his way through the rain to the doors. He felt the “Imposter” written in bold red above him. 

_Ding!_

The bell cheerily announced his entrance and both him and the employees already looked like they were dreading this interaction. Who even pumps gas in the rain this late at night?

The guy standing off to the left pulled his mask over his nose and greeted him through the face shield. 

“Welcome! Are you ready to pay?”

Corpse’s shoulders sagged in relief at the clerk’s initiation. He didn’t realize they had tensed up. He nodded, reaching into his pocket and pulling out some of the crumbled twenties he had preemptively grabbed from his wallet.

“Perfect, I can help you over here.” 

The cashier rang Corpse up, placing his phone face down on the counter. Corpse caught the slightest glimpse of an Among Us lobby pulled up on the screen. He swallowed thickly.

Now he really couldn’t talk. That was a little too risky of a move to pull since age was one thing but the game he streamed on the regular? No no no. 

“Anything else you’d like to add to this purchase or are you good?” 

Corpse froze up. That wasn’t a cleancut yes or no question. 

The clerk must have seen the panic in his eyes and his own expression softened, “Why don’t I ring you up for the gas and if you’d like anything else, either me or my associate would be more than happy to help you out again.”

Breathe in, out. In and out. It’s not like this guy knows, he’s just doing his job. He nodded. 

“Perfect. It shows here that you pumped 14 gallons, is that correct?” 

Corpse nodded.

“Fantastic, your total will be $48.86. Will you be paying in cash?” 

Another nod accompanied by the 60 dollars in hand. 

“I’ll get you your change. Would you like a receipt?” 

Corpse hesitated. Did he want the evidence of his shame? In his heart, the answer was no but he knew that to be financially responsible it was probably better to say yes. He brushed aside the sentimental part of him that wanted to save the receipt to commemorate his first meeting with Sykkuno. 

He nodded and the cashier punched a few buttons on the screen. For the tax write off, he told himself, not the fever-dream that he would actually complete his pilgrimage to Las Vegas and somehow live happily ever after with the star of every single fantasy he’s had for the past few months. 

Because that’s basically what this was. An undialed and unsolicited booty call. 

Right?

Of course it was true that Sykkuno’s voice was the only thing that could genuinely put him at ease these days and maybe his camera roll was filled with an embarrassing number of screenshots and downloaded images from long before the two knew each other. 

And maybe, _just maybe_ , his heart did a few too many small flips in his chest when he was able to make Sykkuno laugh on stream and every time he genuinely smiled, Corpse got butterflies.

But that was all.

Right? 

That and the sheer number of times he had come desperately in his hand, rutting against the mattress and crying out for the fleeting image of Sykkuno burned into the back of his mind to physically manifest itself in his bed and press up against the hard lines of his body. 

He pushed down the thought, willing himself to not pop a boner in the middle of a fucking gas station. 

Yeah that was all it was. The Sykkuno situation.   
  


This fucking craving eating away at his rationale. 

The cash register ding pulled him back into reality. 

“Here’s your change and receipt, sir. Feel free to take your time browsing and if you need them, we have some umbrellas and hand towels by the opposite window. Shout if you need help finding anything!”

What a polite way to tell him he was dripping all over their floors. 

He grunted in thanks and shuffled toward the back of the store. Might as well grab an umbrella and maybe a toothbrush while he’s here. On the off chances he needs to get a hotel.

_Or be welcomed to spend the night with Sykkuno._

There was no ignoring the flare of hope in his chest at that one but he could still curbstomp it before it evolved into anything else. 

Corpse began to slowly pull basic things off the shelf. He didn’t grab a basket on his way in and was really regretting it now. 

Since he didn’t want anyone to think he was stealing if he held stuff in his pockets, Corpse was balancing everything precariously between his left hand and his check. He was careful to not get anything he might put back wet. 

Toothbrush, travel-sized toothpaste, some painkillers, a car charger for his phone, a long towel that was probably meant for car windows and a flimsy umbrella hooked on the crook of his elbow. There was no way that was going to last more than 10 seconds in this storm but it was worth a shot. 

Maybe he should buy two...

Corpse was lurking in the second aisle considering his options of a protein cookie or a peanut butter bar for a snack when the shelf housing lube and condoms caught his eye. It was like he was in middle school again… His face flushed bright red and he tore his eyes away, grabbing the protein cookie and bolting in the opposite direction. 

A chuckle sounded behind him and Corpse was so startled he nearly sent everything in his arms clattering to the linoleum floor. 

“So kid, who you headed to?” 

Corpse whipped around, eyes darting to briefly gauge the distance between himself and the cashiers who seemed lost in their own distant conversation out of ear shot. He looked back to the source of the voice, not remembering if anyone else had come in. 

A portly man probably in his mid-fifties (maybe sixties) stood before him, short and stout. His light brown hair was soaked from the rain and poking out from under his hood and he was holding a bottle of sunscreen in his right hand and had his left hand on his hip which cocked just slightly out to the side. It was giving off enough attitude to the point where he kinda reminded Corpse of this one sassy hall monitor from his middle school before he left. 

He could _feel_ the satisfied smirk from startling Corpse bleeding off this man but there was no malice. He just seemed like a mischievous kind of guy.

“Excuse me?” his voice rumbled out, eyes narrowing. The man quirked an eyebrow in surprise. 

“And I thought I had a deep voice,” He laughed. It was quiet but Corpse could tell that he laughed with his whole stomach. It was nice to see. “I just wanted to know what lucky lady has got you driving through the night to pay her a visit.” He winked.

Corpse stared at him, unable to read any motive other than friendly conversation. But that was still something Corpse wasn’t well versed at being a participant in. 

“I’d like to know who buys sunscreen at two in the morning.” Corpse shot back and winced, “Sorry. That came out bitchy where I was trying to be charming. I’ve been really distracted recently.” 

The man laughed a lot louder this time. 

“Don’t worry about a thing, Sonny. I’m a truck driver. I’ve hauled ass and gas across this damn country more times than you’ve been to the grocery store in your life. Unfortunately that means if I wanna keep looking this good, I gotta sunscreen up.” He posed overdramatically, framing his face. “If you’re really bitchy, I’ll know it.” 

He seemed proud of this fact.

Corpse smiled beneath his mask. It probably didn’t show much on his face but his stance definitely relaxed. 

“I’m just on a drive to clear my head. I’ll probably be heading home after this, no one special.” Corpse responded to his original question, “No one special.”

“You said that twice. Makes me think you don’t believe it.”

His heart started beating again.   
  
“Did I?”

His voice was definitely a bit higher than before. 

“I know the look of a man in love. Seen it in the mirror a few times myself.” The truck driver’s eyes twinkled behind his mask. Then he nodded to the shelves Corpse had fled from not one minute earlier. “Also you were staring at the condoms like a blushing virgin ubering to his first booty call.”

Corpse stared at him, aghast. Was this actually happening? Some random truck driver indirectly convinced him to get some ass.

“No sir, I really am heading home after this. I just needed to stop for some gas.”

He raised both his eyebrows this time and nodded to the items piled in Corpse’s grip, “and a toothbrush to stay overnight in your own place?”

  
Damn, what the hell was this guy’s deal? He was calling Corpse a simp in every which way probably without even knowing what that word meant. Did he have to buy the Coppertone for him as a bribe to get him to stop?

Corpse must have narrowed his eyes a bit because the driver raised his hands jokingly in a “surrender”, sunscreen still clutched in his palm. 

“Don’t need to look so shocked, treasure it while you’ve got it.” he paused, for the first time considering what he was about to say. “My husband says I’m too nosy all the time anyways but I can’t help it. Being a huge sap and all.” 

Corpse’s eyes widened. And then not wanting to be misunderstood he started sputtering, “Oh no no nothing wrong with being a sap, I’m just a guarded guy and if I were driving to see anyone” It was Corpse’s turn to pause, “they wouldn’t know I was coming anyway.” 

The man smiled again. 

“Well I say go for it. You might be surprised by someone else’s feelings. Especially because it seems like you’re a little too distracted by just your own.” 

Corpse stared hard and blurted the first thing that came to mind. 

  
“Are you real?”

“How so?”

“Am I really having this conversation with a stranger in a gas station or are you some hallucination resulting from the last strands of my sanity snapping?”

If the employees didn’t hear their little chat before, they certainly heard it now because the truck driver was doubled over, bellowing with laughter. It filled the empty store and lit up the entire room, drowning out even the sounds of the heavy rain outside. 

It took him a solid eight seconds to calm down enough to wipe his tears. Corpse’s face was burning red again. He wanted to hide behind the ice cream freezer.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to make it sound like you’re a part of my story. I’m not very good at this...” he trailed off, a little ashamed. “Talking thing.”

The man shook his head. “Don’t even worry about it. I think I’d like to be in your story. If that means I get to say one thing and look good doing it.”

Corpse chuckled, nodding and the guy smiled. He was easy to converse with.

“Go for it. Who else would you be seeking out in the middle of the night if not someone you really need? Just go to them.” He reached for something on the shelf. “Here, catch.”

Reflexively, Corpse reached out and caught the small tube of Astroglide that was thrown at him and nearly dropped everything else to cover his face in embarrassment. The man was laughing even more now. Luckily they weren’t bothering any non-existent customers or driving out business. 

“Did you want the condoms too? I didn’t want to assume the size.” He winked and if it was possible to get even more flustered, Corpse did. “Don’t show up empty handed.” 

His face was blazing. 

Corpse stumbed past the truck driver and swiped a pack of condoms as well, ignoring the small whistle and ‘impressive’ comment that came with a chuckle. 

The receipt, the toothbrush, the conversation with another nameless man, the condoms and lube… This was all to fuel his fantasy of actually seeing Sykkuno, not to actually anticipate anything happening. 

“Thanks.” he choked out.

“Drive safe!” He responded cheerily. 

Fuck what he said before, not easy at all.

_But very kind hearted._

Leaving that last thought unspoken for fear of choking on his words, Corpse booked it with a quick “you too.” His items for purchase tumbled out of his arms onto the counter and he placed the umbrella on top of it all. Corpse fumbled for the extra cash to pay with in his pocket and the second employee rang him up. 

“Will that be all?” She asked.

Corpse nodded.

_Please._

“I apologize if that man was bothering you, he’s a regular through here on his drives. Perfectly harmless but if he made you uncomfortable please do let me know.”

Corpse looked up and made eye contact with her for the first time. He swallowed down the panic of being recognized as the imposter, eyes flitting between her face and her coworker holding his phone like a consol. He looked back at the overly friendly man and steeled his nerves. 

His heart was pounding but he decided to throw.

“No trouble at all. Thank you though.” His voice rolled out. If she made any connection to Corpse Husband, she didn’t show it. 

Instead, she gave her best customer service smile and said “Perfect! I’m glad. Would you like the receipt?”

This time he said yes and added a please without any hesitation. It was like the storm had already passed. She bagged his items, not looking twice at anything. Not scanning for clues. Not trying to look into his anonymity. Just handed him everything and wished him a “nice night” as he floated out to his car beneath his new umbrella.

It didn’t help much with the wind. 

He turned to wave goodbye to his new friend through the window but couldn’t make out if he waved back.

Corpse pulled the cable and cookie out of the bag and shoved a couple things in his pockets before tossing the rest into the passenger seat. He mounted and plugged in his phone on the dash before he took a two minute cool down in the driver’s seat while his phone charged up a bit of juice. He glanced once more to confirm that no one was looking twice at him while his anxiety was simmering down. 

Nothing. 

He fiddled with his phone, turning the screen on. Opening google maps and routing his drive home. 

He stared at the long, winding route back. Damn had he really come this far? It would take even more time to get back than it did to get here.

Corpse thought about the long drive home and how absolutely miserable that would feel. The roads would be grueling and the weather was no doubt going to get worse. It would take him hours again and each mile he drove away would be wasted as the magnetic pull of Sykkuno would get stronger and stronger the further away he got. There was no doubt this would be the only time he was able to just say fuck it and shoot his shot before the need to latch onto Sykkuno and never let go got to be too much. 

This would probably also be the only time he could talk with a level head and handle a rejection too before he was completely overwhelmed. 

But he didn’t feel overwhelmed in this exact moment. Maybe in hindsight, that’s why he was already pulling out of the parking lot towards Vegas before setting a destination without looking back. 

Who the fuck else would he be seeking out in the middle of the fucking night in the rain, right? 

The answer was obvious.

He punched Sykkuno's address into google maps from his contact card where he had saved it back when Sykkuno first secured a new place and shared his new location with a few close friends. 

“My home is always open to you,” he had said. “Come whenever!” Well, Corpse hoped he meant that because that’s what was happening. 

**Time to destination: 37 minutes**

Maybe he always knew he was going to end up on Sykkuno’s door and that’s why his head was clear for the first time in for-fucking-ever. His body and soul were both expecting to finally get what they had been screaming for all these past weeks. 

But it really felt like nothing could break this sense of calm that was washing over him. This was what felt the most right. There was no turning back now.

He knew exactly what he was doing.

* * *

Wait a second. What the actual **_fuck_ ** was he doing? 

How did he go from failing to satiate his raging libido which demanded one thing and one thing only to standing outside the door of the thing it demanded in the span of 24 hours. The incredibly specific series of events that brought him all the way to another state was crumbling and falling apart where he stood. Reason and logic flying out the window, shattering on the ground.

Pulling in the driveway of the modest sized home was no big deal, it was getting out of the car that sent Corpse spiralling. It was daunting to stand before the place Sykkuno had talked about when he felt so impossibly far away. Corpse had never made it to his old place like he promised he would, he had been scared of what might happen with Sykkuno. 

What he might do _to_ Sykkuno. 

But now it was larger than life. Even the small amount of confidence he had psyched himself up to build was being washed away by the storm. Normally sleet would be a welcome feeling on his burning flesh but this time Corpse honestly couldn’t tell if it was better for his nerves or not to be standing out in the rain.

Seems like the resolve he had found at the gas station had been depleted and Corpse was running on fumes of sanity.

Panic began to bleed into the back of his mind where certainly was and it slowly consumed him, stripping away his protective layer and leaving him exposed like a raw nerve. Every single cell in his body buzzed with energy. His flight or fight response was screaming for him to run the fuck away. 

To jump back in his car and floor the accelerator. Not letting up or looking back until he was locked back up in his own apartment, safe. 

But instead here he was, getting engulfed by panic in Sykkuno’s driveway. Soaked to the bone and freezing in the storm. His breathing was coming in gulps and Corpse had to slowly crouch down, curling up into a ball on the wet asphalt. The rain struck his face and the tears streaming down his cheeks stung in contrast. 

The edges of his vision were getting fuzzier and he’s not sure how but Corpse somehow had half a mind to crawl to Sykkuno’s front door to seek protection from the rain. All he knew was he needed to be closer. With every step closer, the worse he felt. His stomach churning, hands shaking so violently it was a shock since his arms had long since gone numb. His toes curling and chest clenching down on his beating heart. 

Corpse’s ears were ringing louder and louder, overwhelming him. 

He tried counting his breaths while shuffling his rings across his fingers in an attempt to calm himself down. 

_One, two. One, two._

_What am I doing? Isn’t it a little too late to panic now?_

_But I’ve come this far. I just need to see him once. I just need to hold him once and that will be enough. Then I’ll go home like none of this ever happened. I just need to-_

He derailed his own train of thought.

The unspoken “I just need to feel his skin against my own” weighing heavy against his conscience. 

That’s right. This was a delusion, not love. This was each fiber of his being craving Sykkuno for his body. This was his fucking sickness. 

Corpse wanted to bear his teeth against Sykkuno’s soft skin. If it wasn’t enough he would tear it open and burrow inside, desperate to be closer. To be one. 

Subjecting Sykkuno to Corpse on any other level would be just plain cruel. He was already such a mess, his emotions all over the place just getting here and that wasn’t even close to his worst. Corpse needed to be reminded of what he was good at.

Unattached entanglements and anonymous nights of passion. That’s where he could shine. But love?

Yes, building the foundations of something he hoped to be permanent **was** too much for his nerves. But it would be even more overwhelming to someone like Sykkuno. Corpse couldn’t do that to him.

He was standing outside Sykkuno’s front door. He could feel his stomach begin to churn. His brain firing off with a million ways this might go horribly wrong, the dread manifesting itself in the back of his throat, a slow burn traveling up from his stomach.

_Fuck, I’m actually going to be sick all over the entrance to Sykkuno’s home._

He stared down to the empty space where a welcome mat would usually be. Maybe it was a sign. He wasn’t welcome. He should leave and never look back.

Corpse bit his lip. 

He could.

He could go home right now and collapse in his own bed as the sun rose. Sykkuno would have never known he was here and never realized what a stalker he had befriended. 

Then Corpse fixed his gaze on the huge front door, ornately decorated with panels of opaque glass on either side. No no, that wasn’t going to fly.

He pulled out his phone and checked Sykkuno’s stream, hands shaking. It had just ended so he wouldn’t be interrupting anything. But it also meant he couldn’t turn to the virtual Sykkuno on his screen to calm his nerves and hype himself up enough again to take the plunge. 

  
He’d have to get his fix from a direct interaction. Just one hit of Sykkuno’s voice would be enough. Maybe the powerful effect of Sykkuno’s aura would be amplified by their current proximity.

Corpse scrolled and hovered his thumb over Sykkuno’s contact. His hands were shaking so violently from both his nerves and the cold that he had to triple check it was the right person pulled up on his screen. The fat tears beading in his canthi didn’t help with his vision either. 

Soon the prize of actually seeing Sykkuno that had been dangling like red herrings before his eyes became more and more appealing to him than falling further into this breakdown at almost three in the morning. He screwed his eyes shut and vigorously scrubbed his face with one arm. Corpse cleared his throat, buffing out any evidence of tears.

Forcing himself to put on that famous Corpse Husband mask just enough to seem like he was keeping it together. 

“Don’t come off as a fucking creep.” He growled at himself and pressed **_‘Call’_ **.

_Riiiiiing._

Oh fuck, okay. Well, there’s no going back now. This was really happening. 

_Riiiiiing_.

Shit, what time was it again? Did his stream end hours ago? Maybe he was already sleeping. Jesus fucking Christ, why was he doing this. This is obviously beyond the social allowance of their current relationship.

_Riiiiiing_.

Yup, definitely sleeping. Fuck fuck fuck. Should he hang up? He’s already come too far. 

_Riiiiiing_.

Only one more until voicemail. Corpse hadn’t even considered what he would do in that seemingly inevitable situation. Hang up? Leave a message? Breathe heavily into the microphone until the time ran out? Fuck what would he say. _Sykkuno, please pick up. I need-_

_Riiiii-_

Then there was a click and a small gasp.

Corpse’s breath caught in his throat. 

_Sykkuno. Definitely Sykkuno._ Corpse could pick out the cadence of Sykkuno’s breathing in a line-up. 

_He answered my call._

Corpse had to bite back the inclination to finish his last thought of _I need you_ outloud _._ He at least had the social grace to wait his turn to speak after Sykkuno had a chance to say hello but it never came. 

He tested the waters. 

“Sy… kkuno?” he was hesitant, heart in his throat. “Are you there?”

There was a yelp on the other line and Sykkuno’s “Oh jesus” filled his ears. It was an instant calming effect on Corpse’s brain. “I was so nervous about picking up I didn’t even realize I forgot to say hello! Hello, Corpse. Is everything okay?”

Every inch of Corpse’s body went limp and he hung on each word, drinking it in. The remnants of the panic that had seized his body gushed out in a shaky sigh. He chuckled weakly but hopefully Sykkuno didn’t hear the tremor in his voice as it went.

He opened his mouth to respond but his mind was utterly blank and nothing came out.

“Corpse, are you okay? You sound…”

Corpse’s eyes went wide. It’s like his vocal chords weren’t working. What was he supposed to say without coming off as a total creep? 

“Corpse?” Sykkuno carefully tried again. Corpse couldn’t get over how unbelievably precious and gentle Sykkuno was. 

_Say something._ His mouth was gaping open like a fish. _This is Sykkuno,_ **_Say something._ **

“Is everything okay? It’s late and I need to know that you’re alright Corpse.”

And that was enough to break him. He sucked in a breath, lip quivering as he fought back tears. How could Sykkuno just say that? How could he care so much about everyone else?

Corpse was a cocktail of emotions laced with the inklings of his slight panic attack. Fuck, Sykkuno was still waiting for his first response. 

“Corpse.” 

Sykkuno’s voice always raised his serotonin but this particular tone felt like a warm blanket fresh out the dryer and a gentle, reassuring hug. Careful of boundaries. 

“What do you need? Tell me.”

A twinge of guilt curled in his stomach. Sykkuno was so kind hearted and genuine and here was Corpse, sopping wet at his front door. A disastrous blend of emotional and horny, starved for touch and craving any form of physical comfort he could find in Sykkuno. 

“I want- I need...” Hesitantly, the words began to form. Corpse bit his lip. How to say this without sounding like a total creep?

“I need to see you.”

Corpse couldn’t tell for sure over the heavy rain but he could swear that he heard Sykkuno either gasp or stutter. His heart flipped a little in his chest but before he could marinate in it, Sykkuno had gotten his bearings back and was firing off like a loose canon.

“Anything, Corpse. Do you need me to come over? It might take me a little while from Vegas but if you can hold out, I can stay on call with you and-”

Oh fuck, wait. He saw the lights flip on inside from his position in the entryway. It illuminated his surroundings just slightly but he still couldn’t see anything through the frosted windows. Things were moving too quickly. Corpse hadn’t even had a chance to prepare Sykkuno for what or who he was going to find outside his home.

“No no no Sy that’s not- I’m actually.” He freezes up. He hears footfalls stomping down a flight of stairs in his ear. Just beyond the door through the left side window he sees the shadow of a figure drift back and forth. No doubt it’s Sykkuno somehow already halfway out the door. 

Corpse’s heart was racing for a completely different reason now. In anticipation of seeing Sykkuno for the first time in the flesh. For being seen by Sykkuno. 

Would he recognize him as Corpse? Or was he about to get pepper sprayed as a stranger. 

Fuck, either way Corpse was ready for Sykkuno to be stupendously disappointed. 

Corpse doesn’t even get to finish his thought, it’s interrupted by the door slamming open and there he is. Sykkuno. A hoodie, was that **_Corpse’s hoodie_ **, haphazardly thrown over what he must have been wearing on stream, mask pulled under his chin and brown eyes blown wide.

Oh fuck.

_Oh_ **_fuck_ ** _._

Sykkuno looked as desperate as Corpse felt and that **_did something_ ** to him. God, if it wasn’t fucking freezing outside and pouring rain, words wouldn’t be able to describe how but the sight of that would have turned him on. 

They hadn’t even come in contact yet and Corpse’s blood was on fire. Sykkuno was painfully attractive in person. 

Corpse was incredibly predictable. He wrote lyrics about being choked in bed and fucking with no strings attached. He had imagined Sykkuno every which way all while having his own fanbase who obsessed over each scrap of information he dealt to them. So would someone please explain to him why the moment he finally, after MONTHS of pining, gets Sykkuno standing in front of him he turns into a blushing mess.

It’s like his 12 again and his vision is tunneling. He’s seeing the rest of the world in vignette.

Sykkuno looks fucking beautiful in all his disheveled glory that it hurts. Suddenly everything is worth it. 

The months of pining, the spontaneous drive, the social interactions in a gas station, the panic on Sykkuno’s driveway and his soaks soaked through to his toes. None of it matters. The storm whipped around them and god Corpse is consumed by such a visceral need to hold on and never let go. His mind and soul howl for him to take, take, take but his body is shocked stiff.

He was burning holes into the expression on Sykkuno’s face and was vaguely aware that he'd dropped his phone on the pavement. He stared dumbly, mouth hanging open in a cute little “oh” shape. His face was flushed. 

Fuck was that _was_ his hoodie. Given the record timing of Sykkuno booking it downstairs, it must have been the easiest access to just grab. 

Which meant it was something he wore today. 

Fuck, there was just something about seeing himself emblazoned across Sykkuno’s chest. He wanted to rip off that damn hoodie swallowing up his Sykkuno and wrap his own body around him instead. 

Ok, ok. Pump the brakes. Corpse had far too many shameful words to fully express what he wanted but only in his head at this point. Neither of them was saying anything right away so Corpse took the chance to break the silence, willing his voice not to crack.

“I’m already here.”

Sykkuno’s eyes widened for a split second as if he had just confirmed it was in fact Corpse standing before him in the rain by his voice. He just kept staring. Corpse knew his next question was probably “how” followed by “why” and “who gave you the right.” So he started at the top of that list.

“Um, your address. You sent it when you moved and I-” Corpse was cut off by the distant rumble of thunder, “I had it from your sweatshirt order too since we never got around to that hand delivery…” 

He nodded at Sykkuno’s apparel. 

Lightning flashed, revealing his car in the driveway and showing any details Sykkuno may have missed in the fluorescent bulbs installed in Sykkuno’s fourier. 

It felt like a million years passed. His anxiety was beginning to go haywire and the cold was not helping with his pain. But it’s Sykkuno’s move. Sykkuno’s time to either accept or reject him here and now.

He held his breath, wound up like a coil ready to spring the second Sykkuno let go of the silence. 

And another. Then another. And finally, Sykkuno’s snaps his mouth shut and frantically launches them into an exchange of dialogue. 

“Oh jesus, how long have you been standing out here-”

“I’m so sorry I showed up with no warning but you sent your new address to the chat and I-” He was repeating himself. Interrupting Sykkuno’s question. It wasn’t the reaction he expected but it was the one he wanted: Acceptance. Of a sort. 

“You said whenever we needed anything-” 

“It’s okay, it’s okay. Come on let’s get you inside, I don’t want you freezing on my doorstep-” Sykkuno kneels down to grab Corpse’s phone where it’s (inexplicably) not shattered.

“I just didn’t know what to do so I got in my car to drive and clear my head-” That wasn’t a total lie. He just hadn't been fully aware of his own unconscious intent.

“Are your joints ok? Do you need to stretch? I can make you some warm tea-” Sykkuno wound his arms around Corpse’s and was pulling him into the house. It felt like a line of fire just erupted along every single point of contact between their bodies and the sudden light after driving on a dark empty road for so long is jarring.

It was a lot.

  
“And before I knew it all I could think of was you and I was driving to Vegas-” That was true for more than just tonight.

“I’ll get you a change of clothes and run you a bath, Bimbus leave him alone for now-”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me-” Also true.

“We need to take care of you-”

“I had to see you-” The most honest he’s been so far. 

“can’t concentrate knowing-”

“-that you’re out there-”

“-without me-”

“I-”

Their words spilled over each other, blending together. Both Corpse and Sykkuno locked eyes with one another and Corpse could see the intense focus painted on his face. It looked like he was speedrunning tasks. 

_That look is directed at me,_ Corpse thought in awe. 

Sykkuno was flush against Corpse’s side, his arm still locked in an iron grip like they were magnetized together. Corpse opened his mouth to thank him or offer a chance for him to let go but Sykkuno looked up into his eyes and smiled gently before sliding down Corpse’s body until he was on his knees. The trail of heat following Sykkuno’s touch and goosebumps breaking out in his wake.

Wait. Wait wait wait what? Corpse’s face _boiled_. He snapped his line of sight to literally anything else so he would instantly go hard seeing Sykkuno crouched before him. Was this actually all an elaborate dream with some weird fucked up mental foreplay? 

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you.” Sykkuno said, seemingly unfazed as he tapped Corpse’s knee in indication to lift.

_Oh!_ Corpse wished he could fucking groan outloud. _He’s taking off my fucking boots. Jesus fucking_ **_Christ_ ** _, get your head out of the gutter._

Instead, he groaned internally and lifted his leg up to allow Sykkuno to remove his shoes and peel off the damp socks. 

First the right, then the left.

He never let go of Corpse the entire time. Whether it was gently allowing Corpse to rest his hovering foot on Sykkuno’s knee as he removed Corpse’s socks and shoes or pulling himself back up Corpse’s body by the crook in his arm, Sykkuno didn’t break contact. 

And in return, Corpse kept each and every filthy thought that crossed his mind to himself. Not breaking the silence. 

Sykkuno adjusted his grip until they were holding hands and began to pull him towards the kitchen.

“Is this ok?” Sykkuno asked, gently squeezing his fingers. 

Corpse could only nod and shuffle along. He would lose his damn mind if he looked Sykkuno in the eyes right now. Best not to focus on his lips either so he looked away entirely. FIxing his gaze to the floor. 

“Ok. Kitchen is this way, it’s tile.”

Corpse didn’t pay attention to the route they took at all. Sykkuno could have led him into the backyard for all he knew, the mental exhaustion was starting to hit slowly as the endorphins pumping through his system attempted to settle on something a little more lowkey. No thoughts, head empty. 

Bimbus was making himself known through, circling in front of them and eyeing Corpse who was trying his best to focus on his breathing and calm himself down.

“It’s ok, Bimb! This is a friend. It’s Corpse!”

_Breathe in, breathe out. In, out. Ignore the dog who’s just as cute as his owner. Breathe in, and out. Focus on his hand in yours._

“Wait in here, I’ll bring you some towels. I’m still kinda unpacking but make yourself at home. Don’t worry about water damage, these chairs can take it!” Sykkuno is saying something, he should really listen instead of just dissociating in the middle of his home. 

Before Corpse fully realizes it, he’s being guided backwards into a sitting position. Pain licks it’s way up his joints as they creak in the cold that has settled in his bones. His eyelids fluttered while Corpse strained against the resistance from his body. Once he was seated, Sykkuno’s hands lingered on his shoulders. Corpse relished in the feel of Sykkuno’s warm palms capping his glenohumeral joints. 

Which probably explains why his heart rate spiked and he frantically lunged forward, chasing that contact once it was retracted. 

“Please don’t.” He choked out the second Sykkuno released him, leaving him behind. “Please stay with me. Don’t let go.” It wasn’t a question. Corpse could not handle losing him now that he finally had him within reach. His eyes were stinging, hot tears building up in the corners of his eyes.

Corpse locked his gaze with Sykkuno’s gentle expression. 

He felt Sykkuno politely rap his fingers against Corpse’s knuckles, indicating the strength of Corpse’s grip on his own and the tiny crescent moons being etched into Sykkuno’s hands from Corpse’s blunt fingernails. 

Recoiling, Corpse loosened his grip but still couldn’t let go. 

_That’s what we were trying to avoid happening, dumbass._

He was more than embarrassed by his own outburst but he needed Sykkuno’s touch and that took precedence.

“Let me go grab some towels, I promise I’ll be right back.” Sykkuno squeezed his hand back as if to emphasize his point. Like a promise. 

Corpse very reluctantly relinquished his grasp on Sykkuno, holding him now to that promise of return. He pouted, thankful that his pettiness was hidden behind his facemask but Sykkuno could probably still tell since he hesitated before leaving. 

Corpse had no idea what he was thinking but before he could ask if everything was ok or apologize for being such a mess, Sykkuno reached out and brought a hand up to cup Corpse’s face in his palm, outlining his bone structure and tracing along his cheek.

Corpse went rigid in his seat.

If his logic wasn’t drained before, it was completely depleted now. It took his brain a second to register Sykkuno’s hand against his mask but once he did Corpse instantly relaxed into his primal instinct to lean in and press against Sykkuno’s hand. Unconsciously, his knees twitch and his legs part ever so slightly.

His eyes fluttered closed and he relished in the weight it took off of his neck and the sheer intimacy of the gesture. His heart was soaring and his body screamed _yes, this is what we need!_

_Touch me more._ He wanted to beg.

Corpse signed and felt the wave of relaxation travel through his body, relaxing him instantly. The gesture itself would have usually been one too domestic for Corpse’s tastes but coming from Sykkuno?

It was beyond what he needed. 

It’s like Sykkuno was speaking to him in physical touch, telling Corpse that he’ll be back as quick as he can. 

Now _that_ was a promise Corpse could really get behind.

He wanted to respond. To reach up and press Sykkuno’s hand harder into his face, maybe interlace their fingers and press a kiss to his knuckles through the mask. Or under the mask. 

But he resisted, hands twitching in his lap in protest. He didn’t want to scare Sykkuno or break this moment by moving too fast. 

But he needed more. Honestly, just the ghost of Sykkuno’s fingers would have sent him over the edge if he wasn’t already in so much pain from the rain. 

_Soon. This is already enough._

Corpse let him go with way more ease when Sykkuno dropped his arm with a nervous smile and ascended the stairs. 

_This is enough for now._

His face still felt the lingering warmth and his heart was happily pumping his cheeks full of color. Corpse savored the view of Sykkuno ascending the stairs. When Sykkuno was completely out of view and earshot, Corpse looked down to see Bimbus settled between his feet, looking up at him, head cocked to the side.

“Hello there, Mr. Bimbus.” Corpse introduced himself, still physically tired but in a much better mood now thanks to Sykkuno. 

_The real one._ He thought to himself in amazement. 

Bimbus urff-ed in response. 

Corpse cracked a grin. 

“Wanna keep me company for a bit? Or are you standing guard?”

Bimbus wagged his tail and whined in response. Corpse scritched the pouf atop his head absentmindedly as the panic in his chest slowly came down and he finally got a chance to take in his surroundings. 

While he had obviously seen Sykkuno’s face before and knew what to suspect, this was really the first time seeing Sykkuno’s new home. Sykkuno had put off sending photos on discord under the guise of “I’m still decorating” but something was off.

For someone who always put his best efforts forth to make others feel welcome, Sykkuno’s home was rather unwelcoming to even himself by contrast. If it weren’t for the corner of the counter populated by a couple simple dishes and the jacket slung over the armrest of his couch, Sykkuno’s home would have looked like an empty model or a set piece. 

‘It doesn’t feel like home yet’, Sykkuno had told him when he first moved but it seemed to Corpse that the ‘yet’ was lasting longer than expected. That warmth and comfort of “home” was missing.

As a homebody himself, Corpse knew the strain it could put on someone when you felt out of place in your own home. There was a pang of sadness in his heart. For Sykkuno, this was his home now and it was painful to see how evident it was that this new place was barely lived in. 

“Hey Bimb, is your owner doing okay?” 

Bimbus showed no sign of understanding but he did cough slightly which Corpse took as a response. 

He was seated in the modern looking kitchen with beautiful quartz countertops and nice off white tiles to contribute to the overall sleek and light color scheme. There was even a huge island in the kitchen that was completely barren aside from a single roll of paper towels and a single mask. Everything opened up really well to the rest of the downstairs and the white leather couches and painted fireplace were totally untouched. There were mugs on the coffee table. Not even those obnoxious, oversized books seen all the time in catalogues. 

There was really almost nothing aside from a few boxes here and there. Sykkuno hadn’t made his mark. 

It was such a shame because although Sykkuno’s new place was objectively beautiful, something was missing from it to be considered a home. 

Distantly, he hears Sykkuno knock something over as the pipes hum to life. Is Sykkuno running water? He’s not sure and doesn’t want to overstep by following him upstairs.

“I don’t know if I could honestly, I’m so exhausted.” Corpse chuckles at Bimbus who, again, shows no indication of understanding or caring for that matter. “He has to unexpectedly play host, I feel bad. I wish I could do something for him in return.”

Corpse shivers and takes a break from scratching behind Bimbus’s ears. Which doesn’t go over well with his new fluffy friend who whines in protest and attempts to make a point of it by nudging his snout along Corpse's arms. He smiles, half lidded. 

“Do you want something, sir?”

Bimbus barks once and paws at Corpse’s bare foot, digging into the flooring in between them. His nails clicked. 

_Tap tap tap tap._

“So demanding.” Corpse wished his owner would be a bit more demanding too. “If I tell you a secret, will you keep it?”

Corpse lifted his hands up to the mask on his face, Bimbus’s eyes followed. He teasingly pulled at the black fabric atop his N-95. Flirting with the idea of just revealing himself to his crush’s dog. 

“You wouldn’t tell anyone what I look like right? Don’t expose me now.”

Bimbus whined and jumped up to paw at Corpse’s lab. Whining for more pets.

Corpse let out a long, throaty chuckle and leaned down instead, cupping Bimbus’s face like Sykkuno had just done to him earlier, tracing circles through his fur. Corpse pressed their noses together like he had wanted to and Bimbus licked at his mask, confused why he wasn’t tasting skin. 

“Sorry, Bimb. You’re cute but the first look is gonna have to be reserved for Sykkuno.” At the sound of his owner’s name, Bimbus wagged his tail. Corpse smiled and gently placed Bimbus’s paws back on the tile, unsure if he was allowed to jump up on people. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll give you plenty of pets. I’m sure you’d like that even better.”

“Corpse!” Sykkuno’s voice came from upstairs and both Corpse and Bimbus perked up at the sound. “I’m drawing you a bath! I haven’t unpacked much of my clothing but I have some sweats and a hoodie that might fit you? Is that okay for now? I’ll hunt for a shirt in the morning.”

Jesus. Corpse had to slam his face into his hands to muffle the ungodly sound that just came out of him. Sykkuno was too considerate and adorable for his own good, Corpse was smiling way too hard. 

If his vocal chords weren’t totally fucked and he wasn’t freezing his ass off, he would have probably squealed in adoration like a fangirl. His heart was melting. 

“Uh-huh!” He called back up, not even sure if Sykkuno even heard through his muffled joy. But there was no response back so Corpse assumed he got the message.

_Was I too obvious there?_

God, He had been pining over Sykkuno for months so he was quite the veteraned simp, but the second anything became mushy his poor, battered heart couldn’t take it.   
  


Corpse folded himself over his knees, bones creaking from the effort. 

“Sorry, Bimb. I’ve kinda got a huge thing for your dad.” 

Bimbus looked at him like he expected some sort of compensation in exchange for dealing with Corpse’s _feelings_. 

“Yes yes yes, sorry. I’ll pay up.” He smiled and happily paid his dues to the tiny dog who revealed it. “Just promise me you won’t tell him any of what I said and I’ll scratch behind your ears.”

Bimbus sniffed loudly in response and Corpse took it as affirmative. 

“Our secret then.” 

_For now._

Too busy holding up his end of the bargain, Corpse didn’t notice Sykkuno walking in on them until he heard soft footsteps. He instinctively snapped up in his seat before seeing Sykkuno’s gentle smile blended into his gorgeous features and relaxed into a smile of his own. Eyes crinkled and relaxed. 

“Sorry I scared you.” Sykkuno offered up one of the towels to him which he graciously took. 

“No no, it’s okay. I was having a staring contest with the Bimb himself.” He hurriedly responded, praying that Sykkuno hadn’t lingered within earshot for long. He was a little too distracted by the possibility to properly dry his hair down. 

Corpse looked up to see Sykkuno covering his smile with his right hand as he trailed his left along the counter, making his way across the kitchen. _Beautiful._ His heart skipped a beat and Corpse silently made it his goal to get Sykkuno to smile without embarrassment. 

“Who won?” Sykkuno inquired as he turned on the electric kettle. 

“Probably him, I think I blacked out for a moment out of sheer exhaustion.” Corpse chuckled.

Sykkuno pursed his lips together. Corpse’s heart ached to see his cheeks break out in unobscured dimples.   
  
_What can I do to make him feel comfortable enough with me?_

“You can stay sitting right there, I forgot to offer you some tea.” Sykkuno chimed in. “Do you have a preference? It’ll warm you up.”

Corpse was stunned. There was even more consideration left in this man, goddamn. Compared to months all alone, this amount of attentiveness was like finding an Oasis in the dessert. 

“Oh, anything is fine. Thank you, Sykkuno.” He really meant it and Corpse prayed to god that Sykkuno could tell. 

“Ok, SleepyTime it is!” Sykkuno beamed, pulling out two different mugs. 

_New mugs._ Corpse noted. _Different from the dishes on the counter._ Somehow that made him feel a bit pleased with himself. Sykkuno was breaking in his home a _little_ more with Corpse.

“I always make myself a cup when I have a hard time sleeping after a stream.”

Corpse wonders if that happens often.

Sykkuno was sharing bits of his life offline with him. It was all weirdly domestic compared to his usual relationships and his incredibly impure motive for showing up tonight. 

But it didn’t leave a bitter taste in his mouth, it just felt weird. Beneath his mask he was way more relaxed than usual. 

Happy, even! 

Corpse abandoned the hair-drying ordeal and let his towel hang loosely around his neck, hair still wet, in favor of watching Sykkuno move around an unfamiliar kitchen.

He did however let his eyes linger over Sykkuno’s ass for a little too long until Sykkuno nervously filled the silence, causing him to snap his eyes up to his face as he turned around. 

“Sorry if I took so long. The bath is ready for you! I didn’t fill it all the way so if you want to add some hot water once you’re in there, feel free. I mixed in some epsom salts so you can hopefully relax a bit-” Sykkuno gasped, “Unless you don’t like salts? I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking. I read up on ways to help relieve muscle and joint pain way back when we met just in case it could ever come in handy. I can’t believe I didn’t even think to ask.”

_Oh my fucking- he’s impossibly adorable. Is this for real? Can someone like this really exist?_

Corpse was in disbelief. 

Sykkuno covered his face in his hands, averting his eyes.

“I’m so sorry.”

Oh no no no, that wasn’t going to fly with Corpse. Apologizing was a suit he wore far too often but as the massive fucking hypocrite he was, he wouldn’t stand for it on the people he cared about. 

Ignoring the screaming pain from his joints, Corpse pulled himself out of the chair, much to Bimbus’s disappointment where he had settled against him, and crossed around the island with an air of confidence he didn’t think he would be able to reach given the mess of his mental state all through this night. 

“Sykkuno.” Corpse shakily exhaled and before Sykkuno could react, wrapped him up in a hug, pulling him as close to his chest as he could without exposing how much his heart was racing. Maybe this was a bit of a selfish play but he was okay with being in a moral gray area. 

As long as he didn’t pop a boner or something, everything would be fine. 

Sykkuno seemed surprised but was quick to settle into Corpse’s arms like he needed this as much as him. 

Corpse bit his lip, they fit so well together. He filed _that_ bit of information away for later use.

“Corpse?” came Sykkuno’s worried tone.

He didn’t even need to think about his words.

“Sykkuno it’s perfect. You’re perfect. Thank you.” He paused to breathe in a whiff of Sykkuno’s hair. He was only a little shorter than him but it was just as perfect as him. “Literally no one else would automatically think to do any of this when some person they’ve never really met just showed up looking like a drowned rat at their front door in the middle of the night.” 

On that note, Corpse did feel a little bad that he was still pretty wet and currently had his host wrapped up in his damp embrace. But Sykkuno just looked into his eyes and smiled, bringing his arms up to tighten around him and lock himself further in their embrace. 

Corpse begged every single deity there might be out there that his libido continued to behave itself and didn’t turn this beautiful moment into a highly uncomfortable situation which would no doubt raise a lot of questions. 

“You’re no stranger, Corpse! Of course I would, it’s the least I could do for you right now.” 

_God, how is he so fucking GOOD._

Corpse’s eyes sting a bit. _Oh no you don’t..._

He nuzzles forward and nestles his chin between Sykkuno’s shoulder and neck, swallowing the huge emotions threatening to overflow. 

What was Corpse doing earlier? Claiming himself to be incapable of love? 

_Fuck, am I sure this isn’t just that?_

“Here,” Sykkuno offered, derailing Corpse’s trail of thought. “Let me get your hair for you.”

_Fuck._ Corpse mumbled something incomprehensible, nodding as he pulled Sykkuno in even tighter. _Should have known this would happen._

Maybe that’s why Corpse had put off addressing his feelings for so long. He had no idea how to express his vulnerability and even less of an idea about how Sykkuno would react to it.

React to him. 

Sykkuno unwound the towel from Corpse’s shoulders and the drag of it against his bare skin sent sparks throughout his entire body. Waves of pleasure rippled down straight to his toes. He inwardly groaned, closing his eyelids just in time to hide his eyes rolling back into his head, when Sykkuno started drying off Corpse’s scalp with deft motions.

This was getting dangerous. 

“I’m glad you seem to be feeling a little better than when you first arrived.” Sykkuno murmured, his breath kissing Corpse’s ear.

Corpse’s entire body shuddered at that and he had to grunt before a soft moan would have slipped out. 

_Shit shit shit._

He steadied his breathing like his life depended on it and tried to calm the heat licking away below his stomach. He focused on the towel and the discomfort of being cold that rang in his joints. 

_But if the towel weren’t there…_

The mental image of Sykkuno raking his fingers through Corpse’s hair, catching the curls at the base of his neck and letting him growl, pulling Corpse in to capture his lips with his own. 

Maybe he’d be gentle and kind like his usual demeanor or maybe he’d be rough, knowing exactly how Corpse liked to be handled. Baring his teeth and telling him to _heel_.

_Shit shit shit._

Corpse had to rip himself back to Sykkuno’s kitchen and frantically chase those thoughts away before he turned words to action. 

He grounded himself in this awakened awareness of the domesticity that appealed to him just as much as the possibility of physical affection. 

They stayed there, hugging in Sykkuno’s new kitchen at 3 in the morning with Sykkuno towelling Corpse off while he toned down his thoughts to tea, baths and dogs. 

When the kettle started to whistle to indicate it was done boiling, Corpse was reluctant to let go of any of it. Craving the touch to ground him to Sykkuno. 

He whined when Sykkuno pulled away. It was a mistake and even though they were still in physical proximity, it was so much less than before and even more less than what he would have liked. 

Corpse flicked his eyes down to where their legs were still brushed against each other. That wasn’t him initiating, that was Sykkuno for sure and the thought made his heart swell. 

The thought of it was tantalizing. 

“Here,” Sykkuno handed him the larger mug. Corpse didn’t even realize he had poured the tea. Sykkuno seemed a little hesitant but before Corpse could ask why he stuttered out, ”If you want I can look away so you can drink it, I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable at all.” 

_What?_

Corpse’s eyes flicked down to meet Sykkuno’s gaze for clarification. Sykkuno’s eyes, however, were trained on Corpse’s mask. 

_Oh, the drink. His face._

He shifted the mug to just his right hand to place it on the counter and as steadily as he could, brought his left hand up to the mask on his face. 

“As long as you’re ok with seeing my face, it’s no trouble. It’s not like it needs to be this big deal but I trust you, You’re-” Corpse paused. Special? Yes. But that wasn’t why this particular face reveal felt so much easier to him. Trustworthy? Well yeah, but that could be anyone of his new friends. 

Sykkuno was someone Corpse desperately wanted to have see him for him. Corpse, not Corpse Husband. It _was_ a big deal but he still wasn’t nearly as shaken as he was when he first turned up on Sykkuno’s doorstep. 

Corpse considered his next words _really_ carefully. “You’re someone I would want to see me.” is what he settled on. Sykkuno’s eyes locked on him.

And it was true. 

If Sykkuno looked and saw _him_ , Corpse would be okay. If he didn’t? While the logical side of Corpse knew that wouldn’t be the case, his emotional bitch side couldn’t help but entertain the possibility of Sykkuno rejecting him. 

Or worse, seeing him only as _Corpse Husband_. 

Fuck, that would ruin him.

Years of self depreciation had been trained into his reflexive responses. But under Sykkuno’s gaze, Corpse felt like he wanted to lay it all bare. Show him everything in hopes that Sykkuno would accept him. 

His own willingness scared Corpse shitless but looking down at Sykkuno’s wide eyes and solemn nod, he felt the unconscious reassurance settle over him.

“I feel like I should put down my mug for this.” Sykkuno chuckled, setting down his tea in anticipation and a light smile on his face. 

Corpse laughed a little too bitterly for his taste, “It’s not that special, I promise you. I just have a regular fucking face that could never live up to all the hype.” 

He didn’t want this to be a big deal. But it seemed like Sykkuno knew that because he firmly shook his head and interrupted that thought pretty quickly.

“No no, Corpse. It’s special to me _because_ it’s your face. It’s a part of you you’re allowing me to share in. Whatever your face looks like will fit who you are, you don’t need to fit into your own face, okay?”

Corpse’s eyes widened and he stood rigid, Sykkuno’s expression was set with a fire of determination. He was absolutely resolved in his statement and meant every single word without a second thought. This was a man who understood and respected his anonymity on a completely different level. 

Sykkuno was someone who could really understand with an open mind and had already accepted him regardless of what he had seen. Corpse’s heart was bursting, emotions flooding over.

If this wasn’t love, Corpse was going to lose his damn mind trying to figure out what else could possibly describe how Sykkuno made him feel. 

“Okay?” Sykkuno asked again, no less hesitant. Making sure Corpse knew he wasn’t hesitant. 

“Okay.” Corpse breathed out, in awe. 

So, so, _so_ okay.

And without a second’s hesitation longer, he peeled away the mask. Exposing himself like a raw nerve.

It felt electric, the air around the two of them charged with something neither would ever be able to forget or recreate. But goddamn would Corpse be more than willing to dedicate his life to recaturing it. 

Sykkuno must be feeling this too. Please, please let him be feeling this too.

Corpse held his breath, waiting for Sykkuno’s unfiltered reaction. Voltage shooting down his spine making him feel sick. He knew he was nothing impressive, that this moment wasn’t going to be nearly what anyone probably hyped it up to be. 

Corpse’s legs were shaking violently but Sykkuno was only focused on his face.

“Beautiful.” Sykkuno sounded wonderstruck.

Corpse sputtered, coughing. Sykkuno slapped his free hand over his mouth. 

_I want to kiss him._

He knew he was nothing special but fuck did Sykkuno make him believe it when he called him ‘beautiful’ so earnestly. **Of** **course** he was gonna get embarrassed! 

“Oh Jesus, did I say that outloud?! I meant handsome. I mean you look fine! More than fine, really good. Well you are beautiful I knew you would be but oh jesus I’m rambling um.” He gusted in a deep breath while Corpse stared at him with anticipation. 

Watching Sykkuno get this flustered fueled his confidence more and more. It felt like more than just his face mask was coming off and they were both being even more honest and open. 

It was a fucking drug and now that he had a taste, Corpse was hooked on Sykkuno. Hooked on how Sykkuno makes him feel. 

_Like you weren’t already before, you clown._

“Let me try again. You look like Corpse. And that’s exactly everything I would have ever dreamed of seeing. Thank you for trusting me enough to show me your face.”

Corpse smiled. It was a full, genuine smile. He hadn’t felt this way in months, maybe even years. 

Actually, has he ever felt like this before? 

_I want to kiss him._

He’s never been so sure of a thought in his damn life.

It took all the willpower he had to hold himself back from smothering Sykkuno and his blushing face in a hug. Instead, he needed carefully chosen words to express himself here. 

“Sykkuno.” His name was the first thing he wanted Syykuno to actually see him say. “Thank you.”

Simple but genuine. Fuck, he just wanted to reach out for Sykkuno. Corpse fumbled a bit, he was high on this liberation. 

_Don’t do it, you won’t be able to control yourself if you do._ Corpse chided himself.

His hands hovered in the air for a split moment considering the possibilities but at the last minute Corpse pulled back and gave a little jazz hands to kill some of the highly charged static in the air between them.

“This is me.” He announced, jokingly.

“You look amazing, Corpse.” Sykkuno gushed. “Can I?” he asked hesitantly. 

Corpse gulped. His eyes snapped down to Sykkuno’s hands already starting to reach out. He didn’t need to know what Sykkuno was asking him of, the answer was always going to be yes. Corpse granted immediate permission.

_Touch me, touch me, touch me please._

It wasn’t even remotely sexual. Corpse just needed to feel physically connected to Sykkuno beyond physical intimacy and yeah, it scared him as much as he would expect it too. 

But he needed it so badly and Sykkuno delivered, reaching up to cup Corpse’s face in his hands. Corpse went slack, his whole body disengaging with a sigh. The pads of Sykkuno’s fingers traced along his cheekbones and outlined his freshly exposed features and it took everything inside him to keep from blanketing Sykkuno’s hands with his own. Corpse kept his arms firmly at his sides, letting Sykkuno test the waters. 

Corpse would throw him in the deep end if Sykkuno relinquished any amount of control over this moment. 

Sykkuno’s hands made everything feel warm, raising a light blush in their wake as they traced patterns along Corpse’s jaw, brushing over his eyelashes and smoothing out his cheeks. Corpse could feel him hesitate and start to pull back. Sykkuno probably thought what he was doing was too much and Corpse was uncomfortable because he was so considerate. But Corpse gently nuzzled further into his palms, making him drag out this moment just a little longer. 

Sykkuno brushed his delicate fingers across Corpse’s upper lip and ran the backs of his knuckles under his nose. Giving the dips in his cupid’s bow and nose a little extra love. 

_I want to kiss him._   
  
It would be so easy. Sykkuno was already tracing the outline of his lips with his thumb. He could just press forward and plant the lightest of kisses there. The pads of his fingers, his wrists. He could push further and take Sykkuno’s long fingers into the warm expanse of his mouth, taste Sykkuno on his tongue. 

Something told him that Sykkuno would let him. Sykkuno wouldn’t stop him from winding his arms up Sykkuno’s chest and gently pulling him in by the strings of his hoodie. _Corpse’s_ hoodie. Maneuvering and pushing his back against the counter, caging his hips against the kitchen island. Maybe leaning him back and looking down into those half lidded eyes. 

Corpse bit the inside of his cheek. Imagining Sykkuno all laid out of him, drunk on it, putting his full trust in Corpse. How would he look at him? Would he whisper his name like a secret, would he whimper? Or would he get impatient and pull Corpse down to meet him halfway, leaving marks on his neck.

Fuck.

Corpse shivered at the thought and Sykkuno’s hands pulled back. He almost whined at the loss for the second time that night. Corpse’s eyes glistened with something other than tears as Sykkuno tore himself away.

“I’m so sorry, that was weird right? People don’t just do that right?” 

“It’s okay, Sykkuno.” Corpse had to blink a few times to snap out of the trance Sykkuno had put him in. “I gave you my consent.” he chuckled, trying to lighten the mood and bring his thoughts back to at least PG-13. 

“Thank bingus,” Sykkuno was so cute. Corpse giggled. 

He picked up their both mugs and handed Corpse’s back to him, “Here, why don’t you take a few sips of that and I’ll show you where everything's set up for you.”

Corpse quirked an eyebrow up. 

“Sounds good,” Corpse rumbled, taking a sip of the hot tea and relishing the different warmth spreading through his body. He couldn’t deny that even though he acted like he was in heat, Corpse was slowly freezing his ass off. He let Sykkuno lead the way up the stairs, cradling the warm mug in his hands as an attempt to bring the digits back to life.

What’s the use of touching Sykkuno if he can’t feel it?

“My room is the only bathroom with a tub so I put your change of clothes on top of the dresser by my bed.” Sykkuno explained as they ascended the stairs. “Then the towel hanging on the bathroom door itself is brand new. Mine is the one on the laundry basket so you can just leave it there.” 

Corpse could not get over how this man thought of every little thing. 

“You came at a good time, I just figured out my washer dryer today so everything was either clean or still packed away. I’ve been lazy with unpacking.” 

Corpse hummed in acknowledgement. Remember how empty the downstairs had been. He was concerned but didn’t want to bring it up now when they should both really be sleeping soon.

“Thank goodness I chose tonight to frantically drive through the desert for an impromptu visit.” Corpse laughed. “But I’m feeling better already.”

Sykkuno smiled so openly at Corpse. His hands were busy pushing the door to his room open to cover his face. It made Corpse’s stomach do a little flip. 

“I’m so glad. And after you’re warmed up and ready, I’m ready to be here for you as much as I can.”

He didn’t need to do that much. All of this was already more than enough, more than he deserved for such a last minute burden. Corpse shifted his mug to one hand and placed the other on Sykkuno’s shoulder, it felt foreign to not have a free hand to reach out and touch him.

“Thank you Sykkuno, seriously. You have no idea how much that means to me.”

Sykkuno turned away quickly but Corpse could swear he saw a slight blush. 

_Fuck, he’s so cute._

“But I think I’d like to take that bath now.” Corpse laughed, “I don’t want to keep you up any longer than I already had.”

And he didn’t want to push him further than he was ready for.

“Don’t even worry about it, Corpse. Take all the time you need, just don’t fall asleep in the tub!”

  
“What a way that would be to go.” He signed. Imagining it.

“Corpse.” Sykkuno pouted, “Promise me?”

“I promise I promise,” he laughed. Pausing, he decided to test the waters a little bit. The signals were there and they flirted online all the time so this should be okay, right? 

“And in case I do, you have my full consent to come into the bathroom to check on me.” He winked and Sykkuno’s whole face **_erupted_ **. 

Oh wasn’t that just a _treat_. 

Corpse’s outright glee was short-lived when Sykkuno began choking on absolutely nothing and almost dropped his mug. Corpse was barely able to catch it and steady him.

“Oh god, Sykkuno. Don’t you choke on me now.” Corpse frantically patted his back, worry consuming his thoughts. He placed Sykkuno’s mug on the dresser. 

“Sykkuno?!”

Sykkuno wheezed shaking his head, “Don’t worry about it, I’m-” He coughed, words barely squeaking out of his throat. He leaned forward against Corpse, using him to prop himself up. “I’ll be okay just.” Another cough, “Before it gets cold, please.” he gestured to the bathroom door but Corpse didn’t look away. 

He instead switched to rubbing Sykunno’s back trying to clear his airways. He couldn’t be hunched over like this so Corpse ran his hands over Sykkuno’s shoulders and up the column his throat to his chin to pull his face up, opening a path for air. 

_Breathe for me, baby._

He tried to help by matching each gulp of air Sykkuno took with a whoosh of his own but Sykkuno’s breath caught in his throat and he looked at Corpse wide-eyed. Their noses were almost touching and Corpse thought back to the little fantasy he had in the kitchen.

He gulped. _Hard._

“Sykkuno…” he whispered, voice liquid and low. His brown eyes hooded and half lidded, mirroring the expression on Sykkuno’s face. They were so close he could feel the exchange of their breath.

He wasn’t pulling away. Sykkuno wasn’t even flinching.

“Sykkuno.” 

Corpse wasn’t sure where the line was anymore. While he didn’t particularly enjoy Sykkuno’s suffering, was this still okay? Was this within the realm of possibility? He could just lean in.

If Corpse couldn’t stop himself here, is this how they were going to start?

_Start what._

Would this be how it ended? Corpse knew what he wanted but Sykkuno surged backwards, choking harder and angling his face away so he didn’t cough directly in Corpse’s face. 

It stung a little to have Sykkuno rip himself from Corpse’s grasp but it was probably the smart thing to do when a predator was circling in on its prey. Sykkuno hadn’t been in Corpse’s head but Corpse spent far too much time in there with a version of Sykkuno that may have given him far too many ideas.

“Don’t worry about me.” His voice sounded so winded. “I’ll be fine just-”

Sykkuno began ushering him through the bathroom door.  
  
“Call for me if you need anything.” 

Corpse hesitated but couldn't do much besides getting his own responses and reactions in check. Sykkuno shuts the door on him as soon as he’s through it but his expression and urgency tells him that it isn’t exactly a rejection. 

Corpse presses his forehead to the grains of the wood and slides down to his knees. He can see the outline of Sykkuno’s shadow under the door and can hear his labored breaths. Corpse swallows a groan.

_Sykkuno…_

“Call for me if you need anything,” He had said.

_I need you._

_Fuck, I really think I might need you more than I thought was possible._

He wasn’t going to lie, the last place Corpse had expected to be thrown into by Sykkuno when he first arrived was a bathroom set up specifically for him. Being thrown out? That was way more understandable. Maybe thrown into a closet to hide him from an unknown roommate or family member? Ironic in a way but understandable as well. 

But into a bathtub with… epsom salts and _was that aromatherapy or just the smell of Sykkuno around him?_

This is not what he drove across the desert for. What he initially came for was far more primal than this, but he certainly wasn’t going to fight it. Corpse was learning a lot about himself and this was fulfilling a different kind of intimacy he didn’t realize he had a taste for. 

He was willing to take back everything he had said prior about love and feelings. Things he was good at.

It was easier when Corpse thought he was touch starved and all he needed was to have Sykkuno wrapped around him. 

No no, this was much worse.

Somehow Sykkuno was able to express the intimacy Corpse craved in so many other ways. Sykkuno could turn touch into an emotion more than a feeling and consideration into affection. 

It’s so much at once.

He turns back to the door, Sykkuno’s shadow was still there and holy fuck. He must be leaning against it. 

Corpse could just- open the door.

_I could open the door and he’d spill onto the floor at my feet. He’d be at his_ ** _hands and_** **_knees_** _._

Hot flashes of what that would look like burst forward into his brain. 

Sykkuno’s eyes rimmed red with tears welling up from choking so hard on his drink. His face glowing, flushed all the way down his neck. 

_“Corpse”_

God, he’d moan Corpse’s name. He wouldn’t even realize he was moaning either, it would just come out. 

“Corpse, please.” He wanted to hear it. 

Needed to hear it.

He grips down on the doorknob, toying with the idea of opening it. Seeing how close to reality his fantasies would be. Needing to know the expression on Sykkuno’s face at that exact moment. Fuck, what if he’s on the otherside of the door just as much of a wreck inside over Corpse as Corpse was over him.

Shit. Corpse can feel himself getting hard again. This has gotta be a new record.

He took in a shaky breath in an attempt to calm himself.

_C’mon Corpse. You’ve waited this long. This is nothing, no time at all._

He begrudgingly moved away from the door. With his alternative being a warm bath made specifically for him, Corpse was sort of spoiled for choice. 

_But there’s actually a glimmer of hope_ , he tells himself. Not ready to put a pin in these thoughts just yet. _A light at the end of this tunnel_. It was terrifying and thrilling all at once. 

Corpse may be a musician, but when it came to genuine romance, he was no poet. His motives were impure, he’ll admit it. He had driven himself all the way here influenced by his id. And he had fucked up with every partner he had ever had by being unable to fully commit.

But was this what love was actually supposed to feel like?

Was it bad that he actually wanted to try?

Corpse thirsted- no, he hungered for Sykkuno. He was touch starved. This was very true. 

But perhaps he had to rethink his own emotions and actually consider them in the equation. Corpse didn’t just want Sykkuno for his body. He didn’t want to separate their existing relationship for the release he’s been craving. This was also true.

He thought about Sykkuno here alone in this big, empty house where he’s avoided beginning this new chapter of his life alone and thinks about that little voice in his brain telling Corpse that he could be the reason Sykkuno didn’t feel so alone. 

And the idea does the opposite of repulse him like it should with anyone else, it makes him feel an even stronger attraction. 

Corpse still has an underlying visceral need for Sykkuno (preferably with no clothes on but who was he to say) but this isn’t too bad either. Even if it means taking his time and moving slow. 

Even if it means waiting even longer while Sykkuno is right under his nose.

He couldn’t help but imagine Sykkuno spread eagle on his bed, especially now that he knew what said bed looked like. But Corpse was also imagining what it must feel like to come home to that. Sykkuno waiting for him with a bath ready, shyly offering to work out the ever present knots in his back just as an excuse to be closer. Corpse bringing him handmade pizza while he streamed. Sykkuno sitting on the rim of the tub with Corpse on his knees, unraveling him by the seams. 

Sykkuno laughing so hard he almost pees himself, hands clutching his stomach, all at something Corpse says. 

Corpse looked at his reflection in the mirror. It was jarring to see himself in an unfamiliar room without a mask on but there it was.

His face was under the fluorescent lights and somehow his first reflexive response wasn’t to turn away, but to trace his own fingers over his bone structure in awe.

“Beautiful.” Sykkuno had called him.

Beautiful, huh? Somehow, for a split second, when it came from Sykkuno he believed it.

Corpse turned away, shrugging off his wet clothes and lowering himself into the tub with a deep sigh. It was almost exactly what he needed. Too bad there wasn’t anyone to soak in the domestic bliss together. 

That’s not to say it wasn’t anything less than a much needed bath. He cranked on the facet to add in even more hot water and watched as the steam erupted around him, clearing out his head. 

He couldn’t waste this perfect bath Sykkuno had made just for him, now could he?

* * *

Sykkuno was waiting for Corpse in the living room downstairs with a hairdryer when he finally got out.

It had taken Corpse a moment to figure out that Sykkuno had left him to have the privacy of Sykkuno’s bedroom in order to get changed since the clothes Sykkuno had set out for him were on the dresser. They fit him surprisingly well, if not a little snug, but he couldn’t complain when he had not brought his own change of clothes and as a reward got to have Sykkuno’s scent wrapped around him for the night. 

His own clothing might be dry by tomorrow and if needed, Corpse could buy some new ones or see what hoodies just permanently resided in his trunk. 

Corpse wandered out into the hallway and tentatively called out “Sykkuno?” even though he knew the man lived alone.

“I’m down here!” 

Perking up at the sound of his voice, Corpse made his way down the stairs, empty mug in hand and a fresh towel around his neck.

Sykkuno smiled up at him fondly from the couch, covered in blankets. Setting the hair dryer aside in favor of reaching out to take Corpse’s mug, gesturing to the tea pot sitting on the coffee table as if to ask ‘you want some more?’ He had changed into a pair of joggers and a long sleeved shirt to wear to sleep.

“How was your bath?”

“It was perfect, thank you so much.” Corpse smiled back softly and draped himself across the cushions beside Sykkuno. Letting their knees hit as he scooted forward and offered up his mug. 

Sykkuno settled his hands over Corpse’s grasp on the mug and topped him off with the remaining Sleepytime. He gently placed the pot back down, took a sip of his own tea, and brought his legs up to his chest as he grabbed the hair dryer again. 

“Rae once told me that you need to blow dry your curls with some special contraption but I don’t think I own that. I hope this will do?”

Corpse blinked. This man was too much.

“No no, Sy, that’s totally fine! It’s called a diffuser but I don’t care as much about how my curls turn out so don’t even worry about it. I could even just let it air or towel dry.”

“Are you sure? My grandma always used to yell at me if my hair was wet going to bed. She said I’d catch a cold and die.” Sykkuno chuckled. “It’s usually an asian mom thing but somehow it skipped a generation in my family.”

  
Corpse couldn’t help but laugh.   
  


“You’re kidding.”

“I’m really not but god I wish I was.”

“That’s hilarious!” Corpse reached out to take the dryer from Sykkuno. “I guess I have to dry it now. Don’t want to disappoint Grandma Sykkuno. I was honestly going to leave it since my arms aren’t doing too hot. The bath helped a lot though!”

Sykkuno’s eyes flicked down, he still had a hand on the dryer and he mumbled something under his breath. 

Did Corpse hear him right?

“Sorry Sykkuno, I didn’t quite hear you.”

Sykkuno blushed and placed his hand over where Corpse’s was on the handle. 

“I said that I could dry it for you. Your hair I mean.” He looked up at Corpse through those long lashes. “If your arms are bothering you that is.”

Corpse was stunned. “You’d do that?”

He thought about Sykkuno’s hands running through his hair again without a towel this time. 

“Sykkuno, are you sure? You don’t have to, you’ve literally done so much for me without even knowing I was coming.”

Sykkuno perked up, “Of course! I want to do it.” 

They both blushed at that. 

“O-only if you're okay with it.” Sykkuno stuttered out.

“That should be my line.”

There was a moment of silence before Corpse let go of the dryer all together and started fiddling with the ring on his left thumb. 

“I think I’d like that.”

What the fuck was he saying, of course he’d like that. And Sykkuno’s smile that lit up his entire face as he pulled the hair dryer back into his nest of blankets? 

Just the cherry on top. 

“Ok, let’s head upstairs then so you can go right to bed afterwards!” Sykkuno told him.

Corpse paused. To bed?

“Wait wait wait, Sykkuno.” He slowed him down, “You have a second bedroom?”

Sykkuno furrowed his eyebrows. 

“Well technically yes but it’s not set up yet. Are you uncomfortable sleeping in my bed? The sheets are clean, I just did laundry.”

Corpse vehemently shook his head.

“No I mean, where are you going to sleep then if I take your bed?”

Sykkuno vaguely gestures at the blankets surrounding the two of them. 

“The… couch?”

“Sykkuno.”

“What?”

_“Sykkuno.”_

“What??”

Corpse rubbed at the bridge of his nose. “You’re not sleeping on the couch, Sykkuno.”

“You’re a guest!” Sykkuno insisted. 

“Who showed up unannounced.” Corpse shot back. “Sykkuno, this is your home! You should sleep in your own bed.”

Sykkuno pouted but Corpse wasn’t letting up. He didn’t want Sykkuno to freeze on the couch in this empty room all alone. Corpse watched Sykkuno’s face split open in a huge yawn. 

“Just sleep upstairs with me.” he blurted out and that did it.

Sykkuno’s eyes widened, “W-what?!”

“We can share your bed, it’s big enough and we’re too consenting adults if you’re ok with it.” Corpse was running with it, “I promise I’ll behave myself and you can kick me out at any point. Plus we’re exhausted.”

Sykkuno yawned again and Corpse gave him a stern look. 

Sykkuno stared at Corpse, progressively getting more and more flushed. Corpse paused, waiting for his response. Maybe he pushed it too far?

“...ay...”

Corpse’s ears perked up, “What was that?”

“If it’s okay with you then… Okay.” 

Sykkuno sounded pretty sure of himself and Corpse could feel his blood flow increase to his face. 

“Okay then.” Corpse said, a pregnant pause between them. Sykkuno was the one who broke it by standing up, too occupied in absently gathering up the blankets before apparently deciding otherwise and just taking the hairdryer and his phone instead. 

“Are you ready?”

Corpse responded by grasping Sykkuno’s hand in his and this time, he was leading the two of them up the stairs. He couldn’t see the expression on Sykkuno’s face but if it was anything like his own, he could only imagine a pair of rosy cheeks behind him.

Bimbus took their departure as an opportunity to claim the couch as his own so there was really no going back now. Didn't want to upset the Bimb. 

Corpse opened the door to Sykkuno’s room and jokingly said “So where do you want me? On the bed?”

Sykkuno stared at him wide eyed, if he had been drinking tea still he would have probably started choking again.

“C-corpse?!”

Corpse turned around at that and burst out laughing so hard he almost doubled over at the sight of Sykkuno’s frantic expression. 

“For the hairdryer, Sy! Where’s a good place to sit with an outlet?”

Sykkuno’s eye flicked down to the dryer in his grasp and he buried his face in his hands and groaned.

“Though I’m curious to know what was going through your mind.” Corpse smirked. 

“What’s with you and flirting with me the second we get into my room?” Sykkuno shot back and Corpse was stunned to silence. Gaping like a fish out of water. It was Sykkuno’s turn to giggle, getting lost in a fit of them. 

“I’m sorry, sorry! Yeah the bed is fine, there’s an outlet over on that wall.” 

Sykkuno crawled onto the bed first and leaned down to plug in the dryer and Corpse was grateful for his own silence because it wasn’t flagged at weird to Sykkuno when Corpse was now rendered unable to form words with Sykkuno’s ass wiggling around in the air. 

He turned away shyly, not wanting to ogle if it made Sykkuno uncomfortable. Instead, Corpse spun around and sat at the foot of the bed, his back facing Sykkuno. 

Corpse was suddenly very aware just how snug his borrowed sweatpants were on him. Even more so when he felt a sudden hand come up against the back of his head. Corpse let out an embarrassingly loud gasp. The hand drew back.

He cursed himself at the loss.

“I’m sorry, Corpse. It’s just me.”

Corpse nodded and scooted himself up the bed a bit, still not turning around, and brought his knees up to his chest hoping it would hide the tent he was sprouting in his pants. 

“I’m going to towel dry your hair a bit first, okay?”

Corpse nodded, not trusting his voice not the squeak. 

Sykkuno unwound the towel from where it rested around Corpse’s neck and he shivered at the sudden exposure. 

Without saying anything else, Sykkuno began gently patting Corpse’s curls dry and got to work rubbing soothing circles into his skull. Corpse hummed and let his eyes slide shut, leaning back into Sykkuno’s touch. It felt like he was exactly where he was supposed to be.

A few minutes passed and Corpse sighed, going almost completely slack. His body tipped backwards even further against Sykkuno’s chest. He was slouching, terrible for his posture but Sykkuno giggled and Corpse felt it resonate against his skull and that made everything worth it.

He kept his eyes closed, revelling in the feeling of this height difference. His ear backed against Sykkuno’s steady heartbeat.

Sykkuno dropped the towel in favor of winding his arms under Corpse’s armpits and around his torso. He inched them both forward until he was fully hugging Corpse from behind and pressed his nose into Corpse’s scalp with a big sniff. 

It felt like static traveling down to his stomach, setting off butterflies in there. 

“Making sure I shampooed?” He asked.

“Something like that.” Sykkuno responded. Corpse bit his lip.

“I know I showed up really suddenly but I was just wondering how long I can-” 

“Yes” Sykkuno breathed, interrupting Corpse.

He paused for a moment. 

“I can stay until yes?” Corpse looked up at him and was met with Sykkuno’s softest smile. Eyes full of genuine affection for the broader man.

“Corpse,” Sykkuno whispered. “You can stay as long as you want. As long as you need.”

Corpse searched his expression for any indication of regret, discomfort, or hesitation but there was none to be found. Sykkuno was 100% sincere. 

He could swear he was about to cry but Sykkuno brushed a curl away from his face and gently tapped Corpse’s cheek. 

  
“Now, Mister Corpse, if you could please return to the upright position we will be drying your hair shortly.” Sykkuno jested and Corpse couldn’t do anything but match his smile. 

“Yes sir, Sykkuno sir.” 

  
Corpse mimicked the low sound of an electric motor as he slowly sat upright and Sykkuno laughed and rolled backwards to get the hairdryer.

“You’re ridiculous.” 

“Yes sir, Sykkuno sir.” Corpse smiled, “Ridiculous indeed.”

Corpse couldn't remember the last time he had had this much fun relaxing with someone in person. Behind him, Sykkuno turned on the dryer to the lowest setting and slowly got to work. 

It was probably low so the noise wouldn’t be too horribly loud but Corpse was secretly thrilled knowing that it meant Sykkuno would be working his hands through his hair even longer. 

The next 5 minutes were spent in pure bliss as Corpse felt _cared for_. It was a wild concept, completely foreign. 

It felt unreal but there Sykkuno was. Meticulously working the dryer up and down, carefully shielding his ears so they didn’t burn, and absently playing with the baby strands at the base of his skull. 

This was usually the time of night when Corpse would be in pain, all alone. Pining for someone he had never met and imaging Sykkuno fisting his curls and using them to yank his head back, exposing the bare column of his neck. He would hear Corpse whimper with need and latch onto the pulse point at the base of his neck, sucking hard and using his free hand to palm him roughly through his boxers until Corpse came beneath the fabric. 

The Sykkuno of his imagination was a stark contrast to the real living, breathing thing currently tending to his other needs but instead of pining for the liquid hot release he craved every damn day, Corpse found himself content with this domestic bliss. 

The dryer clicked off when Corpse was halfway to what would probably be the first good night’s sleep he’s had since this whole ordeal started. He leaned back again, this time pillowing his head on Sykkuno’s thighs sitting seiza on the bed. 

He felt Sykkuno go still above him and he quietly whispered “Corpse...?” 

Sykkuno ghosts his hand over Corpse’s chest. 

Corpse hummed in response, cracking one eye open. Even as exhausted as he was, it was easy to wake up knowing the Sykkuno would be waiting for him. He reaches and pulls the hand over his chest up to his mouth, pressing Sykkuno’s knuckles to his lips. Not quite kissing, just resting them there. 

“They’re warm.” He notes. “From the dryer.” 

Corpse dramatically blows on them like Sykkuno is made of hot soup. As if on cue, Sykkuno smiled down at Corpse’s sleepy face. It’s a beautiful sight, how his eyes crinkle at the corners and his double chin protruding from the angle. 

It was so fucking cute. Disgustingly sweet.

“Fresh from the oven~” He responds, tapping Corpse’s cheek with his index finger. “C’mon Corpse, let’s get our teeth brushed and get to bed.”

He likes the sound of that.

* * *

Their nightly routine is different for the both of them tonight, neither used to the other’s company and both incredibly beat from the events of the day. But they fell into step with each other quickly and got through it nonetheless. 

Corpse’s wet clothes were hanging on the rim of the bathtub. If Sykkuno thought it was odd that Corpse had managed to shuffle through the wet pockets of his pants and produce the gas station toothbrush and toothpaste, he didn’t say so.

Although that begs the question of if Sykkuno was planning to share his toothbrush with Corpse or just give him a new one. 

Before he got his answer, Sykkuno closed the blinds. 

“If the sun comes up before we’ve gotten a chance to go to sleep, I will actually cry.” He deadpans and Corpse almost snorts toothpaste. 

Thankfully, there are no tears as they make it back to the bed within minutes and both collapse under the sheets without needing to discuss who gets which side.

“Hey, Sykkuno?” Corpse rolls over to see Sykkuno’s eyes already shut tight. But he gets a soft, affirmative grunt in response.

Corpse quirks his lip, how cute.

“Seriously, thank you for everything. I promise I’ll make it up to you.” Corpse says solemnly. 

Sykkuno rolls over “Whatever you need, Corpse.” he murmured. 

_Be careful or I might really end up taking you up on that offer._

But what he needed was changing too.

The exhaustion was hitting all at once but Corpse got to watch the sight of Sykkuno falling into slumber through half lidded eyes. 

Corpse looked over to Sykkuno’s slack expression as he gradually lost his battle against sleep. It wasn’t much of a fight. 

Distantly, Corpse remembered that Sykkuno had streamed for a while today and must have been exhausted pampering him. He’d have to be sure to really make it up to him tomorrow. 

Already delirious himself, Corpse reached out and gently grazed the back of his knuckles along Sykkuno’s cheek just like Sykkuno loved doing to him. Sykkuno mumbled in response, eyelids sealed shut.

“Sy?”

“Mmmm?”

Corpse started a little longer with the last of his energy and smiled softly. Maybe it was his body finally crashing or maybe it was the lowered inhibitions from finally being close to a sleeping Sykkuno but he decided on one final bad decision of the night. 

Corpse leaned forward, a breath slowly gusting from his nose as he placed a feather-light kiss against Sykkuno’s forehead and pressed his own forehead against Sykkuno’s. 

He stayed there, syncing their breathing, for a few moments then slowly pulled away. Sykkuno mumbled and stirred at the loss of contact.

“Mmmm, Corpse?” Sykkuno was barely conscious. “Did you do something?”

His heart skipped a beat. He pulled all the way back to catch the exact expression on Sykkuno’s sleep addled face. His eyes were still shut, eyelids probably too heavy to move. 

Corpse had to push the timbre of his voice down to a low rumble. 

“Just saying thank you, Sykkuno.”

“Mmmm, of course.” He smiled softly in his sleep and sighed. “Anytime.” 

Corpse watched him drift back into a steady slumber. It was a sight he never thought he’d get to see and he wanted to savor it for the first time. Locking this moment away as a memory forever.

After he was sure Sykkuno wouldn’t wake again, Corpse trailed his index finger down a path from the top of Sykkuno’s forehead over the bridge of his nose and finally let his hand fall away at his plush lips. 

A forehead kiss was good enough for now, he could claim these later.

Having come here with a far more indecent motivation, this is not what Corpse had expected. 

This, sharing a bed with Sykkuno like this, wasn’t an outcome Corpse would have foreseen in a million years. But now he literally couldn't imagine anything more perfect (and he had imagined quite a bit these past few months). 

Could life really be this sweet? He didn’t have the best track record of it being this nice thus far. 

“Sykkuno.” Corpse mumbled.

“Sykkuno?”

A soft snore was his response.

“Sleep well, Sykkuno.”

His heart swelled. 

_I love you so much._

Oh yes. Corpse was very, very fucked. 

But he drifted off with a soft smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it’s been a month. A lot happened at once. 
> 
> I promise you won’t need to wait as long for the next chapter though!. I was overwhelmed by the positivity and wanted to make this good. I got stuck on how exactly to move forward at first but once I got over that hump it’s been smooth sailing.  
> Chapter 3 is already half written. 
> 
> I tried to write Corpse going back and forth from horny to emotionally starved and I don’t know how well I did with the flow. That’s still very difficult for me but I’ll get better at it! 
> 
> Your comments give me life. These past weeks have been very rough and every single kind word made me smile so much. It kept me motivated. Thank you ♥️ I made a twitter so please come talk to me between updates! 
> 
> @GomiSakka 
> 
> Who do you think wakes up first?
> 
> (PS: Chapter 3 gets spicier so I hope you’re ready.)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I don't have a beta and English is not my first language but I hope you enjoyed!! I will keep updating soon if people comment that they'd like to see this story continue.
> 
> Next chapter we find out what's going through Corpse's mind!
> 
> UPDATE: WOW! The response I got from this story has been so incredible, thank you so so much. I do have a full outline of this fanfic and have been working on it bit by bit to get the next update out to you. Next chapter is much longer than the first and I have been working hard to make sure that it is presentable before I publish it so I hope you can look forward to that soon~


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